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The Goddess Speaks

PAULETTE SUWA

Sunday, June 17, 2001



FL MORRIS / FMORRIS@STARBULLETIN.COM
Paulette Suwa and her father, James Lee, reminisce
over their subway adventures.



Dad/daughter
competition played out
in map wars

I'm so lucky. Recently I had the opportunity to vacation in Japan for a week and a half with my parents and sisters. Why so lucky, you ask?

First of all, my sisters and I are mothers of three children each. We were fortunate to leave our kids at home, alone with their dads for 10 days and not worry about changing diapers, helping with homework, shuttling kids to baseball games and soccer practice, shopping for groceries, cooking dinner or cleaning house.

Second and most importantly, I got to spend time with my parents, especially my dad. Growing up, I never really spent much time with him. He always traveled for business and when he was home he slept most of the time, so my vacation with him meant a lot. I found out that I'm just like him, and I think Dad realizes that now, too.

The moment we arrived at the airport our vacation began as usual, Dad in control. He directed us where to go, what to do. As I kid, I did whatever Mom and Dad told me to do. I'm an adult now. I'm much more opinionated and I want to do things my way. I won't go into the gritty details, but you can imagine how -- with rolling eyeballs and flaring nostrils -- I held my breath and did as I was told. But I couldn't hold my breath for very long. Unbeknownst to dad, he and I were entering a competition.

While in Japan, Dad and I did our best to outdo each other and appear to be most knowledgeable. When it came time to buy subway tickets, he tried to follow the pictorial instructions while I found two helpful gentlemen who gave me instructions in English. "Step aside, Dad, here's how you buy a ticket," I said, grinning.

COVER STORY

Mauka Makai cover

As for directions on the street, Dad had a map in hand, turning it in every direction we turned. I stopped people on the street and got information using the little Japanese I could speak. "This way, Dad," I said, grinning.

This continued just before a train ride. "Dad, I think this is the wrong train," I said.

"Trust me, trust your dad," he said.

With rolling eyeballs and flaring nostrils, once more I took a deep breath and boarded the train. After several stops, he mumbled, "wrong train." I grinned.

I had a better subway map than he did. In the end, my subway map somehow found its way into his pocket.

At Tokyo Disneyland Resort, I got a great map of the different hotels in the area. I was planning to "hotel hop" to check out the shopping plazas in nearby hotels. Dad wanted to see the map. Later, when it was time for me to get on the shuttle bus, I asked Dad for my map. "What map?" he said. "Get one of your own." Rolling eyeballs, flaring nostrils.

When we arrived at Narita Airport for our flight back home, we found that our plane would be delayed until the next day. I took a deep breath and asked Dad to get us on another airline that would leave that day. He said he couldn't, but that if I could, it would be a miracle.

He shouldn't have said that. After making my way around the check-in counters, I said, "Come on, Dad, let's go. I got us on another airline." HUGE grin.

Back home in Hawaii, the competition is over. I think Dad knows now that I've grown into an independent adult who can survive. Dad, you don't have to protect me now. Being with you for 10 days has really made me realize just how much I love you. We both won.


Paulette Suwa is a free-lance writer.



The Goddess Speaks runs every Tuesday
and is a column by and about women, our strengths, weaknesses,
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