Honolulu Lite
Animals are revolting. Not in the "gag me" sense, but in the "Animal Farm," chasing the farmer around with pitch forks sense. All over the world, animals are rising up or soaring down on human beings. I was shocked that animals could be so vicious toward people who have a history of loving, caring for and, all right, occasionally eating them. Welcome to the first "all animal" AloHA! Friday, although I think you'll find the situation is no laughing matter. Animals wage
secret war of revenge
Talon scout gets ahead
CHAROLLES, France >> A French jogger was attacked by a vulture or some other large bird of prey. He was treated for wounds after a bird with a one-meter wing span swooped and grabbed his head with it's talons while pecking him on the neck, witnesses said.
Leapin' lizard lunges
TRONDHEIM, Norway >> A man chased by an iguana down a street initially thought the lizard was fake. Kjell Thore Jacobsen had just left his flat when he came across the iguana. "I thought someone was having fun with me by putting a fake iguana on the ground." When the iguana hissed and began running at him, Jacobsen fled down the street and called the police.
Sneaky beavers bite back
VIENNA, Austria >> An Austrian hunter was seriously injured after he climbed into a hide (hunting shelter) built on stilts that had been gnawed through by a beaver. The 42-year-old man had just settled down in the hide when the 20-foot structure toppled over.
Monkey goes ape
COLOMBO, Sri Lanka >> A sex-crazed monkey has been stalking and attacking girls in public, as well as flirting outrageously with dogs and cats. The monkey follows women around town and jumps on them with no warning. In a conservative rural town where public displays of affection are frowned upon even between humans of the opposite sex, residents are outraged.Weird Web site: If God didn't want people to eat lobsters, why'd he make them so tasty? You won't find that addressed at the Society for the Advancement of Lobsters web site (www.geocities.com/savethelobsters). These guys love lobsters in the non-culinary, politically correct wacko way. SAL "strives to promote understanding, support and respect for lobsters everywhere. For another point of view, go to www.redlobster.com, home of Red Lobster seafood restaurants. It's pretty much like the other site except it strives to promote understanding, support and respect for the TASTE of lobsters everywhere.
Sunday in Honolulu Lite: Shoots, brah. For a state that doesn't have capital punishment, why are so many criminals being killed?
Quote me on this: "I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived for a year or two to have been turned into a fur coat? I don't know." -- Barbie Benton.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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