Honolulu Lite
GANGS in a couple of major U.S. cities woke up recently to find out that there was a new player in town, a brash criminal organization not content to leave its mark spray-painted on a few brick walls. No, this new gang left its calling cards right on the sidewalk, curious symbols that appeared overnight, not too unlike crop circles. Graffiti hints there’s
a new gang in townWhat did the markings say of the new bad boys in town? For one thing, they weren't intimidated by the local law. They laid their marks right down on city sidewalks in permanent black spray paint. Anyone walking on the sidewalk would have to see the stylized graffiti. Even if they didn't know exactly what the symbols meant, the sheer number of them, more than a hundred in Chicago and god knows how many in San Francisco, told residents that this was a gang to be reckoned with.
But what did the symbols mean? One looked like a peace sign, but it could have been a B-1 Bomber. Another was a heart in a circle. The heart usually is a symbol of love. But maybe this gang had a darker meaning for it. Maybe they were being ironic or even facetious. Maybe the heart symbol was a threat of some kind. The last symbol was even harder to figure out. It could have been a menacing figure in a hood, or, then again, some kind of water fowl. The fact that they all were sprayed with black paint, made the figures even more threatening.
Then came the amazing revelation. Yes, these symbols were deliberately painted on city sidewalks by a huge gang that goes by the name of "Big Blue." Others know it as the giant computer corporation IBM. When it comes to gangs, they don't get any bigger or badder. The Jets and Sharks wouldn't tangle with these guys.
Luckily, law enforcement put a stop to this campaign of terror before it reached Honolulu. The last thing we need is some computer nerd in a black leather jacket and slick-backed hair spray-painting incomprehensible corporate gang markings on the Fort Street Mall.
Now, IBM says it was all a mistake. The symbols were supposed to be part of a radical new advertising campaign. (They said the symbols stood for peace, love and Linux, a computer operating system.) And they were supposed to be put on the sidewalks with black powder, not paint.
Sure. IBM doesn't screw up like that. I'm sure Big Blue had it's 10,000-man/woman/other public relations division studying this campaign for months. They crunched all the numbers. What would be cheaper? Spending millions on TV commercials or spending a couple hundred grand spray-painting symbols on sidewalks. Even with the cost of eventually having to remove the marks and pay fines for vandalism, the sidewalk caper was a lot cheaper. And the television stations covered it as news! For free!
Psychologists think that graffiti is merely a modern version of ancient need for animals to mark their territory. Big Blue decided to lift its corporate leg and leave its mark on the country. For that it should be slapped on the snout with huge fines and told, "Bad corporation! Bad boy!"
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
The Honolulu Lite online archive is at:
https://archives.starbulletin.com/lite