The Weekly Eater
WE'VE ALL MET people who are dietarily challenged. I'm not talking your average "gotta lose 10 pounds" individual, or those who swell up or get itchy at the thought of shellfish or peanut butter, or those philosophically opposed to eating animal flesh, or even those simply seeking to avoid mad cow beef or pesticide-laced apples. Finicky eaters find
the food’s ‘safe’ in
these havensWe all start out liking common-denominator food, stuff like Sugar Pops, Oreos, fried dough coated with sugar. Then we get to be, oh, 5 years old and our taste universe expands. We find ourselves enjoying new flavor sensations, such as spicy tacos or a peppery steak or soy-drenched poke or eel topped with tobiko.
Or not.
I've known people who enjoy little more than eating the same thing daily. Confronted by a menu full of choices, they'd never look beyond teriyaki beef, or tonkatsu, or tripe stew.
Then there are people who shun foods green, or blue; just pick a color or obsession.
There are also people who will not mix food groups, which has nothing to do with disdain for fusion or Pacific Regional cuisine. In frozen-dinner style, these people need to have their meat segregated from vegetables, segregated from starches. One person I know could not eat fried rice unless each small bit of yellow egg, pink Spam and kamaboko, and brown beef could be separated into its own small mound.
Wandering around Kaimuki with this person, it was difficult to find a restaurant she deemed "safe." Burgers, good. Ethnic food, bad.
For the sake of all forced to dine with finicky eaters, here is a list of safe havens with enough ambience to make all feel like adults:
>> Assaggio. The Ala Moana Center branch may be closer to you, but the food's better at the original in Kailua, one of the town's dress-up spots. There's safety in pastas tossed with familiar ingredients like chicken, shrimp, mushrooms and sausage. Best yet, the choices are endless for those accompanying the finicky eater: mussels slathered in a garlicky tomato sauce, linguine with clams, puttanesca with anchovies! At 354 Uluniu St., 261-2772.
>> Auntie Pasto's. There's always a line out the door at 1099 S. Beretania. That should tell you something. Creamy Alfredo sauce, spaghetti, meatballs, mushrooms; all the makings of a kiddie menu, but for grownups. Call 523-8855. Also at 559 Kapahulu Ave., 739-2426.
>> Buzz's Steak House. One more for Kailua. Burgers and spinach salads by day, with steak and a bountiful salad bar by night, all in a charming wooden "shack" across from Kailua Beach Park. Simple mo' betta. At 413 Kawailoa Road. Call 261-4661.
>> Dixie Grill. Among the chief complaints of malihini who arrive here is the lack of barbecue. Korean and teriyaki ribs don't count, they say. The owners of Dixie Grill chomped their way through the Southern "Barbecue Belt" to come up with the sauces for their all-American ribs. Other choices here are beer-batter fish and half-pound Bubba burger with nacho fries. Scary for dieters, but nevertheless everything's familiar. At 404 Ward Ave. (596-8359) and Aiea (485-2722).
>> Big City Diner. Remember my food phobic friend? This is where we ended up after trekking the length of Waialae Avenue that inspiring day. Salads, burgers -- your basic diner fare -- are well-represented. There's guava on those ribs, but fruit is generally acceptable to the finicky. Kim chee fried rice is optional. At 3569 Waialae Ave., 738-8855.
>> Bogart's Cafe and Espresso Bar. This bagel-and-sandwich shop offers simple fare in the guise of the exotic. A quesadilla is so much sexier with sundried tomato and spinach. If the tomatoes are too much, there's always your basic roast beef or chicken sandwich. Watch out for that veggie pizza. There's that pesky pesto again. At 3045 Monsarrat Ave., 739-0999.
>> Eastern Garden. The important thing for those with food phobias is to be able to recognize each ingredient, as in beef + broccoli = beef broccoli. Or get the cake noodles with minute chicken on top and watch out for bones. Don't even think about asking what's in the dim sum. At 3008 Waialae Ave. (737-2828), 98-150 Kaonohi St., (486-8882) 2045 Kalakaua Ave., (951-8886) and 46-023 Kamehameha Highway (235-1628).
>> Mariposa. On the third floor of Neiman Marcus, where employees aim to please, they're not out to scare anyone with the menu. There's soy, lemongrass and wasabi butter in many dishes but the operative word here is mild. At Neiman Marcus, Ala Moana, 951-3420.
>> Mongolian Bar-B-Que. Live a little. Don't let the name scare you. While your friends gobble up stir-fries filled with itty bitty pieces of meat and veggies, you can gobble up a plain old teriyaki chicken, with plain white rice, or better yet, a soft sweet bun. Those little specks on top are harmless sesame seeds. At 1145C 12th Ave., 739-1916.
>> Palomino. Try a thin-crust pizza for starters, graduate to salmon roasted on a cedar plank or just about anything off the rotisserie. At Harbor Court, 66 Queen St., 528-2400.
Another tip: look to chains, your Stuart Anderson's, Chili's, Brew Moon, etc. They've managed to tame foods to render them inoffensive to the masses. We've got a handful of homegrown ones in Zippy's, L&L Drive Inn, Maui Tacos and Teddy's Bigger Burger too.
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Nadine Kam's restaurant reviews run on Thursdays. Reviews are conducted anonymously and paid for by the Star-Bulletin. Star ratings are based on comparisons of similar restaurants:
-- excellent;
To recommend a restaurant, write: The Weekly Eater, P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, Hawaii 96802. Or send e-mail to nkam@starbulletin.com
