Honolulu Lite

CHARLES MEMMINGER

Friday, April 20, 2001

Rally for Rene, she’s
not the worst of the lot

WÉ here at Alo-Ha! Friday think that City Councilwoman Rene Mansho deserves a break. Considering the rest of the jokers on the council, recalling Rene seems mean. Hang in there, kid, and someone else will do something worse than you did. And get your sign-wavers out there with a few slogans like: "Recall? Recall All Those Free Golf Tournaments I Threw For You Ingrates?"; "Support Rene or Our Plumeria Industry Will Die!"; and "Hey, Andy, I Know What You Did Last Summer!"

And now for the news ...

Sound of exploding cows

VIENNA (Reuters) >> The Austrian province of Vorarlberg will ban the practice of blowing up dead cows with explosives on its picture-postcard Alpine meadows.

Authorities in the small mountainous province worried that tourists would be put off by exploding cadavers. About 20 head of cattle die on the pastures each year of natural causes. Because of the rugged terrain, some farmers blow up the dead animals instead of lifting them out by helicopter.

(Didn't Julie Andrews' sing "The hills are alive, with exploding cow thighs ... ?)

Sorry, wrong lumbar

HONG KONG (Reuters) >> The Hong Kong Medical Council has backed down on a plan to ban the use of mobile phones during surgery. Doctors could use mobile phones while performing surgery, provided the calls were justified and did not compromise patient care.

The public condemned the move after the council ruled that a doctor who answered a call during surgery and stayed on a cell phone for 14 minutes had not been unprofessional.

(Good news, Mr. Wang, you're heart's fine. But if your chest rings, it's for me.)

Weird Web site of the Week: The presidential election is way over but you can relive the nostalgia of the nasty Florida battle at a site called Presidential Pong.

Control George W. Bush and Al Gore as they play Ping Pong with the presidential seal to the music of "The Chicken Dance." The game takes a lot of hand-eye coordination, the lack of which, ironically, is what caused all the chad problems in Florida in the first place. Type "Presidential Pong" at any Internet search engine.

Transvestites reach out

ANKARA (Reuters) >> A gang of stone-throwing transvestites attacked the home of the sports minister Fikret Ulu with beer bottles and stones and tried to tried to rob his son. They demanded 50 million lira ($42) from the minister's son.

Turkey's cities have active transvestite scenes, in which men visit bars filled with cross-dressers and hire them for sex.

We can only guess as to the reason for the attack during which the transvestites used their mobile telephones to call in others to join the fray before police drove them away.

(Police could not confirm if one of the calls was a wrong number that went to a Hong Kong doctor in the middle of surgery.)

---

Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.

---

The Honolulu Lite online archive is at:
https://archives.starbulletin.com/lite