Honolulu Lite
There is no state in America called Harrah's or Bally's. They are gambling companies that go anywhere they can to make a ton of money. Officers in those corporations don't worry about the negative impact of placing a casino in their own back yards, because they don't do it. Place bets on Hawaii
casinos on mainlandThey place their corporate bets in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, the Bahamas, on Indian reservations ... anywhere people are willing to work an hour to make $10, then work two seconds to lose it at a roulette wheel. The money pours into the corporations ... nice clean money to invest in the stock market and pay larger salaries to corporate bigwigs.
In other words, they get the best of gambling without having to suffer the worst. They leave that to the states and reservations that allow them to do business. Let the tribes and the city councils worry about crime, gambling addiction and mopping up after the riff-raff that congregates wherever there's a whiff of easy money.
Big corporate gambling concerns would love to come to Hawaii. Picking dollar bills out of the hands of tourists and residents would be like picking blossoms from a plumeria tree: Great for the pickers, not so great for the pickees. Many residents think Hawaii needs gambling. It will bring in money that can be used for all manner of worthy projects such as education, special education and special, special education. It's money that would only be used for Good Works.
The Legislature just killed a bill to study the economic impact of gambling in Hawaii. Great. We didn't need it. The study would just remind us of the easy money we're missing out on. Which is true. But there are other ways of getting our hands on that money without opening Hawaii to gambling.
We have to stop thinking like a state and start thinking like a Bally's or Harrah's. I've suggested building a state-owned casino in Las Vegas, so we'd get all the benefits of gambling with none of the downside. I'm thinking even bigger now: a chain of Hawaii-themed hotels and casinos across the country. There's a "New York! New York!" hotel and casino in Vegas. How about one called "Hawaii! Hawaii!" (I know "New York! New York!" isn't owned by New Yorkers but that's just because they didn't think of it.)
Instead of letting the gambling corporations take advantage of Hawaii, we should partner up with them and take advantage of everywhere else. Let's put a "Hawaii! Hawaii!" in New Orleans and let the fine state of Louisiana deal with all the scummier aspects of the gaming industry.
I love tourists. But they can be such a bother. Why not take their money from them at a Hawaii-owned casino on the Atlantic City boardwalk or an Indian casino off a South Dakota interstate? Hand out free mai tais and lei. They won't know if they are in Waikiki or Podunk, Neb. Gamblers aren't interested in beaches and palm trees anyway. If one or two do get lucky and actually hit a jackpot, we can always fly them to Hawaii and let them spend their winnings here. I'll drive the limo.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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