Honolulu Lite
ALL RIGHT. So I blew it. A few months ago I predicted there definitely would be no teachers' strike. I figured there was no way parents would allow teachers to send their kids home to hang around for God knows how long. Wrongo. I underestimated the level of antipathy parents have for the public school system. I shouldn't have, because parental antipathy is one reason the public schools are such a mess. Legal guidance for
students hurt by
teachers’ strikeNow it's beginning to sink in: This strike could go for quite a while. Fun is fun, but you can't get ready for SATs in the mall. Colleges don't take students who majored in Food Court. The students should realize that they are the ones getting hurt while they are being used as pawns in a battle for bucks between the governor and the teachers' union.
To redeem myself for my bad call, I'm going to come to the students' aid. I believe they have a legal interest in this strike. No one is representing them. So they have to represent themselves. I offer the following lawsuit form they can fill out and file in Federal Court:
United States District Court
Complaint for Damages
(Insert Student's Name), Plaintiff V. Hawaii Teachers Association, Gov. Ben Cayetano, State of Hawaii and Teacher John and Jane Does 1-18,000 (or so).
Jurisdiction.
This Court has jurisdiction because defendants are infringing on federally protected right of Plaintiff to receive a good education.
Nature of Action.
Plaintiff is a student in Hawaii public schools. Said schools are financed by public tax dollars. By taking the aforementioned tax dollars, the state in effect has a contract with Plaintiff to provide a good education as well as ancillary activities intended to prepare Plaintiff for a rich, fulfilling life and/or college. By allowing an open-ended strike, defendants have violated the contract with Plaintiff and put Plaintiff's future in jeopardy.
Specific Charges.
Conspiracy: Defendants have conspired to use Plaintiff and equally situated students as pawns in a labor dispute.
Theft: Defendants are stealing precious moments from Plaintiff that should be used to educate Plaintiff to prepare Plaintiff for higher education and general success in life.
Racketeering: Defendant Teacher John and Jane Does 1-18,000 are engaged in a pattern of activity, to wit, walking picket lines, designed to disrupt Plaintiff's right to an education and intimidate any who oppose them.
Extortion: Defendants are attempting to extort each other for enormous amounts of money, using Plaintiff and others as hostages.
Assault: As a direct and proximate result of defendants' illegal action (the strike), Plaintiff suffers irreparable harm, to wit: Loss of education, missing out on crucial athletic and artistic training that could lead to scholarships, missing the prom, not getting dates, etc.
Claims for Relief.
1. Plaintiff asks court to find that a public teacher strike is tantamount to child abuse and order defendants to cease and desist in such abusive behavior.
2. Plaintiff asks court to award damages (amount to be determined) to Plaintiff to cover costs of tutors and other special programs needed to bring Plaintiff back up to educational par with students on Mainland.
3. Plaintiff asks court to order defendants to quit acting like a bunch of doo-doo heads.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
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Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
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Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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