Honolulu Lite
Details are beginning to come out about the behind-the-scenes maneuvering that led to the release of the Americans held captive by the Chinese. Local radio deejay Jay Stone learned that the United States avoided an international incident when President Bush considered making an ultimatum, or, as the president put it, "an old tomato." U.S. captives enjoy
lei-over in HawaiiAccording to Jay, Bush said he would apologize to the Chinese "about that spy plane deal only if the Chinese apologized to the U.S. for that Pearl Harbor deal." So we were lucky there.
I feel like I had something to do with getting our servicemen and women back home so soon. My Wednesday column was about how it is impossible to negotiate with the Chinese. The ink was not even dry on that puppy before negotiations reached a successful conclusion. My record for prognostication remains intact. I also boldly predicted that there is no way public school teachers would go on strike. For more on that, read "Honolulu Lite" in Sunday's Star-Bulletin.
Here's some mainland news of some local interest:
Cockroaches 1, Tenants 0
SAN DIEGO (AP) -- Eighteen bug bombs meant to rid an apartment of cockroaches set off an explosion that ripped open its ceiling, shattered windows and tore cabinets from kitchen walls. No one was injured in the 700-square-foot apartment when a pilot light set off fumes from the bug bombs Wednesday morning. While the explosion caused $50,000 in damage, it didn't appear to do much to the cockroaches, which were seen crawling around the apartment as firefighters packed up.
Weird Web Site of the Week: This week's weird Web site is a lot like last week's weird Web site. In fact, it IS last week's Web site. Last week, through the magic of newspaper editing, we managed to tell you everything about a Web site except its name and address. That proved an annoyance to several readers who e-mailed me, asking if I was some kind of a wise guy. The name of the Web site is Psycho Ex-Girlfriend, and it can be found at psychoexgirlfriend.com. If I were the paranoid type, I'd suspect that an editor of the female persuasion took offense to the site for being piggish, tasteless and offensive, which, frankly, it is. If I were the clumsy type, which I am, I probably accidentally deleted the relevant information myself while trying to squish too much great literature into one column.
Pie in the face: All clowns used to want was a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in their pants. Now they want legal protection. According to Reuters, the worldwide clown organization Clowns International is advising professional clowns to get custard pie insurance. No joke. "Although no clown has yet been sued by the recipient of a face-ful of custard pie, the organization fears it may be just a matter of time," Reuters reports.
Quote me on this: "The press is like the peculiar uncle you keep in the attic -- just one of those unfortunate things."
-- G. Gordon LiddyHave a Good (Alo-Ha!) Friday.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
The Honolulu Lite online archive is at:
https://archives.starbulletin.com/lite