Sidelines
SO what was the big deal? So what if it was 2005, and after four years of losing, the University of Michigan might change its color to red and transform his beloved Wolverines into a new, modern, more "marketable" nickname like the Michigan Storm. I mean, red is a "hot" color. Red sells better. Everybody knows it! Nightmarish scenario
may sound familiar"That would be ridiculous," my friend, the Michigan fan, said.
And Wolverines! The Michigan Wolverines were old, old fashioned, soft. You can't play football with everyone thinking you're some kind of chipmunk.
No, a storm is dangerous, a storm is bold. Think of the new, cool, aggressive logo you could have -- people would love it.
"People would riot," my friend said.
And those helmets. So old-fashioned. Too 1938, with those wings and those stripes. You don't sell merchandise by being "classic." It's time for a new look! Like BYU's "bib" uniforms! Like the Houston Rockets! This could be what the coach needs to turn the program around.
My friend crossed himself. "They wouldn't!"
I couldn't understand his pain. It was all very exciting, a new beginning. Red was much better than blue, who couldn't see that? Besides, they'd keep that maize and blue in the trim. And "Storm," now that was a name! I couldn't wait for the first T-shirt.
THE OFFICIAL CEREMONY was all pomp and circumstance, everyone so proud of the new look. And the new logo, plucked from so many possibilities, was (drumroll, drumroll ...) the letter "M"!
"The letter 'M'?" my friend cried. He just could not believe it. "The letter 'M'!"
But this was no ordinary letter M, not like on Sesame Street. This was a cool M, new and modern and expensive.
And there were detailed, spiritual explanations for the new look -- "the football coach likes red" -- and even its own motto, an ancient Chippewa Indian saying -- "Get over it and get with the program."
Now they would be able to get "on the map." Now they could sell merchandise all across the country, and even internationally, like those minor league baseball teams that change logos every few years.
The coach was so proud of the new nickname. Now they could recruit. After all, who would want to come and be a glorified squirrel? Everybody knows the key to football success is having a tough nickname like "Buckeyes" or "Cornhuskers" or "Volunteers" or "Horned Frogs."
My friend mumbled that there had been lots of great, tough Wolverines in the past. Such a proud history, he said, such great teams. So many kids who had grown up bleeding maize and blue ...
But my new shirt looked great, and the new name was bold and the colors were bright. Everyone was so happy, so sure of themselves that they had done the right thing. It was a day to move forward.
Then my friend, the Michigan fan, said he had been left behind. This was no longer his team, he said. He had grown up with the Wolverines, the Wolverines were his team, and they had been replaced on a whim. He was sad about that, and then angry, very angry.
"They sold their identity to sell a few shirts and hats," he said. "They tossed aside their history to feel a little more macho."
Ah, but what does he know? That red does look sharp.
Kalani Simpson's column runs Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays.
He can be reached at ksimpson@starbulletin.com