Honolulu Lite


Friday, April 6, 2001


Stealing leaves
little kid in stitches

IN HONOR OF OUR striking public teachers and college professors, let's kick off this edition of AloHa! Friday with a few famous observations:

"Show me a college dean whose professors are out on strike and I'll show you someone who's no longer in possession of his faculties." Bert Murray

"Parents never appreciate a teacher until it rains all weekend." Anonymous.

And for parents, it has begun to pour. Luckily, there are plenty of curious things going in the world to take our minds off our teacher problems.

Stitch in time, creates mime

HANOI (Reuters) - A Vietnamese woman forced her 10-year-old stepson to stitch up his mouth as punishment for stealing 200 dong (1.3 cents), police said.

Phan Thi Hien, 31, handed the boy a needle and thread after beating him severely for stealing the money.

"She did not do it herself," said a police officer. "She forced the boy to do it while she was watching. It was just one stitch."

The woman will be prosecuted for "ill-treating" a child, police said.

See? All those stories about stepmothers being wicked were completely untrue. As the cop pointed out, it was just ONE stitch.

Web site of the week

This week's featured Internet web site is suggested by a reader named Gary who was bright enough not to give his last name because he knew they type of flack he'd get, deservedly.

It purports to be a sort of a club for guys who have gone through difficult separations, complete with logo clothing and merchandise. It's really about a guy who broke up with his girlfriend and then saved all of her voice mail messages which are variously bizarre, threatening and generally creepy.

He's posted all those calls on the web site. Speaking of snakes ...

Snake mistake

HAMMOND, La. (Reuters) - A 6-inch Pygmy rattlesnake interrupted a would-be gardener's shopping plans by latching onto his finger as the customer browsed through plants at a discount store, police said.

Benjamin Threeton was handling plants at a WalMart Supercenter when the snake bit his finger and hung on. Threeton shook the snake off and stomped it to death.

Animal control officers said Pygmy snakes rarely grow over 18 inches but do contain venom that can sicken or even kill their victims.

Is there any sadder way to die than being stomped to death in the garden aisle of a Louisiana WalMart?

Quote me on this:

"If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french fried potatoes are out." --Jean ("Please Don't Eat the Daisies") Kerr.

Happy Alo-Ha! Friday.

Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, or e-mail

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