Honolulu Lite

by Charles Memminger

Friday, March 30, 2001

AloHa! Friday
starts weekend
with a chuckle

It's AloHa! Friday, with the emphasis on "Ha!" as we kick off a new feature in the Star-Bulletin. Every Friday I'll be presenting a collection of interesting, funny or just plain weird little stories that I'll harvest from the news wires, the Internet, books, magazines, e-mail and submissions from you folks out there in Reader Land.

We want to help you kick-start your weekend on a happy, lighthearted note, or at least let you know that no matter how bad things might be going in your life, there's always someone who's luck is worse than yours.

The idea came about because of all of the odd and strange stories that come across the wire that never seem to get into the paper. I always liked to save them up and run an entire Honolulu Lite full of them from time to time when I was feeling particularly lazy. Honolulu Lite will be moving to the new Sunday edition of the Star-Bulletin so AloHa! Friday will become an official dumping ground for such delightful and sometimes frightening tidbits.

If you come across a printed blooper or small interesting item in a publication, clip it out and send it to me. Or if you come across a bizarre Web site on the Internet, e-mail me the address. Keep in mind that this is a family newspaper, which means, naturally, that all of the best submissions won't see the light of day. But anything that might cause a smile or chuckle (or the occasional gasp) will find a home in this space.

Here's a little taste of things to come. Happy AloHa! Friday!

Men Bite Dogs

BEIJING (Reuters) >> The Chinese have taken a liking to a revered symbol of Switzerland -- the St. Bernard dog -- but the Swiss are not flattered.

Gentle giants famed for rescuing people in the Alpine snows of Europe, the St. Bernard's size and docile nature have become a major selling point in China, where dog meat has long been a popular delicacy known as "fragrant meat."

Driven by increasing demand to boost meat yields, dog breeders have been drawn to St. Bernards because they are huge, resistant to disease and prolific, with annual litters of around eight to 12 puppies, double that of other dogs.

"If Swiss people ate Chinese panda, how would the Chinese feel?" said one Swiss anti-dog eater.

Wacky Weekend Web Watch: At the "Send a Kiss" Web site, dancing pigs, amorous hamsters and vivacious rabbits deliver digital kisses to friends, family and people you might just want to make a little nervous, all backed up by some extremely bizarre electronic lounge music. It's very funny, actually. Find it at:

Quote Me on This: "Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals." -- John Steinbeck.

"Those big shot writers could never dig the fact that there are more salted peanuts consumed than caviar." -- Mickey Spillane.

Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to

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