Starbulletin.com



Honolulu Lite

by Charles Memminger

Monday, March 19, 2001


Congressmen step up
to rule the roosters

AS proof that males still rule the country, Congress is preparing to ban interstate shipment of roosters for fighting, while interstate shipment of hens for eating is still perfectly fine.

Why do the males of a species rate federal protection while the females are still considered entrees? You would think the National Organization for Female Chickens would be all over this inequity.

The sudden urgency to crack down on cockfighting across the country is puzzling. I remember candidates for president and Congress blathering on during the last election about education, tax cuts and abortion but I don't recall anyone mentioning cockfighting.

Being a suspicious person, I think what happened here is that the politicians got so confused arguing about zillion-dollar tax cuts that nobody really understands, they decided to find some really simple issue they could rally around to take their minds off numbers with way too many zeroes.

They finally found that bipartisan Shangri-La they've been dreaming about on the issue of cockfighting. The country may be evenly divided on tax cuts, but just about no one is in favor of rooster cuts.

Cockfighting is illegal in every state except New Mexico, Oklahoma and Louisiana, which, interestingly, are the only three states in the country where chipmunks are considered delicacies. And even though there already is a federal law on the books against shipping cocks across state lines for the purpose of fighting, it is still OK to ship birds to the three rogue cockfighting states.

This made enforcement of the law impossible. See, if police tried to bust someone in Vermont for being involved in cockfighting, all the guy has to do is say he is raising the birds for shipment to New Mexico. That would leave the detective scratching his head and saying, "Well, you got me there."

I guess it never occurred to the cops to check with New Mexico to see if ANY Vermont roosters were ending up in that state. If rooster-raisers in 47 states are claiming all of their chickens are being bred for transfer, then New Mexico, Oklahoma and Louisiana should be positively overflowing with fighting cocks.

Cockfighting has been in Hawaii forever. My position on cockfighting has been rather fluid. I believe I once said a civilized society should not allow large, angry roosters to go around armed. On the other hand, I think I also supported a law that would force all local poultry to fight to the death before being cooked and eaten, the rationale being, wouldn't you feel better knowing your McChicken sandwich came from an animal who gave its life in the glory of battle instead of simply having its throat slit by a guy named Wendel?

Which brings us back to the basic gender inequity of cockfighting. I'll bet that if hens were given a 3-inch, razor-sharp gaff and a little training, they could hold their own against a few roosters. They then could at least face their fate -- of ending up slathered in teriyaki sauce -- with some dignity.



Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to cmemminger@starbulletin.com.



The Honolulu Lite online archive is at:
https://archives.starbulletin.com/lite



E-mail to Features Editor


Text Site Directory:
[News] [Business] [Features] [Sports] [Editorial] [Do It Electric!]
[Classified Ads] [Search] [Subscribe] [Info] [Letter to Editor]
[Feedback]



© 2001 Honolulu Star-Bulletin
https://archives.starbulletin.com