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DADS are normally involved with soccer, Little League and other rough-and-tumble activities that allow them to maintain their macho aura. They watch their daughters transform into princesses before their eyes, but are not necessarily fascinated by their little girls' interests.
Dads give daughters a lift as
they get involved in their activities
at Pacific Ballet AcademyBy Nancy Arcayna
Special to the Star-BulletinSocietal norms make us believe that pink is for girls, blue is for boys; that boys are supposed to be rugged, and ballet and frilly things are definitely for girls, or worse, sissies. These stereotypes make it difficult for dads to participate in activities generally associated with girls.
"Dads look terribly uncomfortable when they come to the studio," says Lee Olsen, director of Pacific Ballet Academy. "We figured if they were more involved, they could see what their daughters are really up to.
ON THE FLOOR
What: Second Annual Father/Daughter Pas de Duex, a benefit for the nonprofit Pacific Youth Ballet
"There are so many ways for moms to be involved in their daughter's ballet training. The moms are putting their girl's hair in a bun or assisting with the costuming and backstage duties," she adds.
Several dads choose to be a big part of their daughters' life, even if it means exposing their soft side and crossing society's boundaries.
"Pas de Deux," the Pacific Youth Ballet annual fund-raiser, provides fathers with an opportunity to partner daughters through classical ballet.
"It was really sweet watching the fathers dance with their daughters. I had them doing lifts, turns and all sorts of things. Only one of the dads had done dance before, so it was really a crash course," said Olsen.
"Most of the dads are lawyers or other professionals. It was really neat to see how brave the dads got ... they were really trying new things. Things they would never have considered doing at the beginning of the event," said Daniel Nelson, who teaches ballet and partnering classes at the Pacific Ballet Academy. "The moms were the faithful audience members."I participated as a foster dad for one of the girls," said Jubal Jones. "It was a nice introduction for fathers to see how much work it is for the girls. The daughters also had the advantage of having a larger partner. We were able to lift the girls really high and give them lots of support.
"My son Remy is in the partnering class so the girls are used to having small partners. He got a kick out of watching the dads perform."
"My dad didn't do it because he is too shy," said 13-year-old Drew Murakami. "The boys couldn't participate so Mr. Jones was my partner. It was a lot of fun and the dads looked pretty funny."
Magician Curtis Kam whirled around the dance floor with his 11-year-old daughter Jacquie Moore.
"There are not too many things that you can do with your daughter. If we are lucky, we go to the shows," he says.
"My daughter is at the age that parents can't do anything right," he said. "They had a ball (watching us) and there was giggling all over the room. They felt vindicated that it was harder for us than it looks. But, it was lots of fun.
"There were no expectations because everyone expected us to be bad. So if we were good, that was even better," he said.Kam adds, "It was met with great skepticism by the girls because they thought it would be embarrassing. Afterward, they all wanted to do it again. We got to learn something, have a good time and enjoy the usual bonding experience."
Jacquie has been dancing ballet for eight years, but this was her first opportunity to dance with her father. "It's fun to watch the dads try to dance instead of the younger boys. They did not always do a good job. Some of the dads had special moves, but mine didn't. Last year lots of people came and more should come this time. I can't wait to do it again," she said.
"My dad did a pretty good job, said 5-year-old Sarah Kern, who was swayed around the room by Bill Kern. "We did some barre exercises and he lifted me in the air so I could pose. Some of the other dads were funny."
Bill had a different perspective on his ability.
"Grace is not a word that you take with you in your 40s," he said. "All the dads were against the wall and all the pretty ballerinas were on the other side of the room. We are all a little overweight and it was tough to stretch. It was hard for us to do everything, but it gives us a greater appreciation of what our children are studying."
Fortunately, the fathers are not required to wear tights. Comfortable clothing and bare feet are the only requirements."It was definitely tiring. I used to play basketball in high school ... something I haven't done for a long time. It gave me an appreciation for the athleticism that we all need. It was quite a bit different than sitting on my hiney all day at my software company," said Kern.
Eight-year-old Alexandra Makk has been studying ballet for three years. She was excited that her dad could learn more about her dance classes and she seemed impressed by his performance.
"My father could lift his leg really high. The girls were laughing, but my mom thought it was nice," she said.
Alexandra's father, artist A.B. Makk, was enthusiastic about participating in the event again this year. "It was a very interesting way to bond with my child. It is rare that a father can get involved with the feminine side of things. If you expect your girl to throw a ball around, then you should be involved in activities that she loves as well.
"I tried to be the partner she could count on for support. The ladies are the stars of the show. We just physically support them.
"It was definitely exhilarating. It allowed us to do something she loves to do and we both gained something from the experience," Makk said. "It was also a nice workout. There were beads of sweat and it was not just from nervousness."
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