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Honolulu Lite
AS one of the staff writers for "Baywatch Hawaii," I have many regrets about the show being canceled, chief of which is that I spent 12 weeks writing about babes in bikinis without ever actually getting to see one. Writing for
‘Baywatch’ no fantasyWe wrote about bikini babes on boats, bikini babes with sharks, bikini babes in helicopters and bikini babes underwater but not once did a babe appear at the writers' trailer at Diamond Head Studio to say "hi."
But I'm not complaining. For three months, as the Star-Bulletin was going through the process of transferring to a new owner, I got to sit around with four bright, funny people and simply make up wild stories. And get paid for it.
We were writing episodes for what would have been the third year of "Baywatch Hawaii" when the plug was pulled Wednesday morning. Racing a probable strike by television and movie writers in May, we had cranked out 12 of the 22 planned episodes.
When my fellow columnists on the Mainland found out I had been hired to write for "Baywatch" their reactions were much the same. One guy sent email saying "Please, please don't tell me that it isn't the coolest job in the world. Do NOT destroy my fantasy."
So I replied, that, yes, it was the coolest job in the world. We wrote scripts on lap tops at the beach while scantily clad women brought us Mai Tais and rubbed our shoulders. I heard later that that account made the gentleman cry.
The truth is that we wrote from a nondescript trailer with an interior climate that swung wildly from sauna-hot to Northern Alaska-freezing with few stops in between. Head writer Frank South, formerly with "Melrose Place" and a ton of other shows, brought together a diverse group that included Bob Gookin, long-time writer for "Walker, Texas Ranger," and the husband-wife writing team of Andre and Maria Jacquemetton, who wrote for "Highlander" and would chatter away in French at the drop of a croissant.
FRANK brought me in even though I had no previous television-writing experience either because he's an incredibly nice guy willing to give a local writer a break or because he's suffering from some serious mental deficiency. There are roughly 6,000 members of the entertainment writers guild. If Frank had put an ad in the "Daily Variety" seeking a writer for "Baywatch" in Hawaii, he would have heard from about 5,875 of them. So it was an extraordinary opportunity for me, which Bob, Andre and Maria kindly pointed out several times a day, bless their hearts.
"Baywatch" had an amazing run. Which made writing for it in its 12th year tricky. Anything that floated had been sunk, anything that flew had been crashed, anything that lived on land had been pushed into the water and every emergency from stubbed toes to open heart surgery on a surfboard had been shot.
Nevertheless, we were in the process of kicking up the action and drama several notches and if the show had not been canceled, people would have been blown away by the stories. It was not your father's "Baywatch."
If history is any indication, another television show will begin production here before too long. You can have all the babes in bikinis and hunks in tank-tops you want, but when you get down to it, the beauty and drama of the islands is the great seducer. So, aloha, "Baywatch." Hawaii now waits in the wings for the next suitor.
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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