Tell me what’s
really on your mind
I get a ton of mail, both snail and e-kine, in which readers toss in their 2 cents about the subject of the day. It occurred to me that your 2 cents many times makes more sense than my 2 cents. So, because I believe you have a right to be heard and I'm really lazy and will do anything to fill this space, here is some recent correspondence:
Regarding the column on the proposal to allow gambling in Leeward Oahu, Tom Foster, Ph.D., a dean at Grossmont College in El Cajon, Calif. writes: "Keep swinging at the people who want to bring gambling to the islands. It is a pipe dream to think gambling will be confined to one place. Gambling won't help education. Why are the facilities in Maili and Nanakuli not as nice as those in Kahala and Kailua, if all schools are really treated equally? Here's to getting the best politicians money can buy."
(Dr. Foster apparently also has a degree in Advanced Cynicism, which you gotta like.)
In a column about pet peeves, I complained that we can put a man on the moon but can't make a toilet that won't stop running after flushing. Bob Donigan of Kamuela writes: "Sorry to scold you but perhaps you should add a sixth (peeve) to your list: Columnists who misuse the English language. Toilet handles don't 'giggle,' they are 'jiggled.' At least mine doesn't giggle, unless it is in the dark of night when I'm sleeping. Celebrate the language and don't enter any spelling bees!"
(You kind of hurt my feelings there, Bob. But you have a point. On the other hand, only a real columnist can misspell something and make it funnier than the intended reference.)
Another column subject was "birdism," the favoring of one kind of fowl over another. Why are birds inside the zoo held in such high regard while the pigeons just outside the fence are considered pests and need to be destroyed? The pigeons' fate did not move Grace Tanaka, who writes: "We have about 50 uninvited pigeons that come to sit on our neighbor's roof and ours everyday. They leave promptly at sundown, although there was a time that a few tried to take over our house. They are arrogant, like you say. I've shot them with a water hose and they just shake a little, like it is just a sprinkle. The amount of poop they make is unbelievable!"
(Grace, thanks for the note but if you shot me with a hose I might lose control, too.)
Barbara Ikeda is more pro-pigeon. She points out that the U.S. Department of Agriculture, which is responsible for culling the pigeon herds, has its own problems: "The USDA recently had an arsenal stolen from a pickup truck: An AR-15 rifle, two shotguns, a handgun and 400 rounds of ammunition."
(I guess that clears up the question of where the birds went after they left Grace's house at sundown.)
Finally, a column on how the state has lost track of how much ceded Hawaiian land it has under its control prompted Healani Waiwai'ole, president of the group Noho Like on Kauai to write: "Of course, asking the thief to inventory his stolen goods so that he can compensate those he stole from is ludicrous. I hope you write more columns like this one. We kanaka maoli o Hawaii can use all the help we can get in educating the general public as well as our own na po'e, and we're a bit lacking in kanaka maoli media personnel. Mahalo hou."
(Healani, you are now officially Honolulu Lite Media Personnel. And mahalo back at ya.)
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
The Honolulu Lite online archive is at:
https://archives.starbulletin.com/lite
