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Changing Hawaii

By Diane Yukihiro Chang

Monday, February 5, 2001

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Pondering differences
of gender in
domestic homicides

IN April 2000, Mililani resident Cheryl Mosier fatally stabbed her husband, Harbin, then tried to take her own life. She survived the suicide attempt, pleaded guilty to manslaughter and, this past Friday, was sentenced to 20 years in prison.

In court last week, she apologized to her two teen-aged sons, her husband's relatives and her friends for all the grief and suffering she has caused them. "I live every day with the guilt and shame of what I have done," she said before being led away to her punishment.

In February 2000, in the living room of a relative's Makakilo home, Sabrina Fiaai mortally stabbed her husband, Abe. She was found by police crouching near a neighbor's fence, carrying her two youngest children.

During the course of their relationship, Abe Fiaai had been convicted twice of domestic violence, and his wife had sought five restraining orders against him over 10 years.

Despite that documented history of violence against her, Deputy Public Defender Todd Eddins said that his "extremely remorseful" client didn't want to put her family, especially her six kids, through the turmoil of testifying at her trial. Recently pleading guilty to manslaughter, she will likely receive a 20-year prison term when sentenced in early April.

Remember these two women, what they did and how they took responsibility for their criminal misdeeds.

Now consider the following two local cases -- picked among a multitude of similar domestic fatalities committed by men -- and contrast the behaviors and justifications of the perpetrators.

In January 1997, Saldy Marzan shot to death his estranged wife, Arlene, in Kalihi. During his trial, he admitted abusing her several times during their eight-year marriage.

But he hadn't meant to kill her when confronting her with a gun, he explained, because he didn't know it was loaded, he had just wanted to scare her, she had tried to grab the weapon and it went off by accident, he didn't know she had been shot when he fled, etc.

In June 1996, Daniel Haili Sr. killed his wife, Philimena, in the Kailua couple's carport. He fired 11 shots point-blank at her with his .32-caliber revolver, stopping once to walk around and reload.

Haili claimed he had become enraged by his wife's affair with another man and that he had been under extreme mental duress from losing his job.

Despite their legal defenses, both Marzan and Haili were found guilty of second-degree murder by their respective juries.

LET us take a moment, then, to ponder whether there may be actual differences between the genders when it comes to "owning up" to acts of violence and death. Which gender, do you think, after slaying a spouse:

Would seem more apt to step forward and admit culpability because of excruciating bouts of remorse?

Would likely be so worried about subjecting loved ones -- especially children, siblings and parents -- to the agony of a trial, that they would rather acknowledge guilt and serve a lengthy prison term?

Would less often resort to making excuses to justify their crimes?

Which gender should be emulated for their bravery, willingness to take responsibility, and the ability to feel empathy for those traumatized by their wrongdoings?

Who says that women are the weaker sex?

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Diane Yukihiro Chang's column runs Monday and Friday.
She can be reached by phone at 525-8607, via e-mail at
dchang@starbulletin.com, or by fax at 523-7863.