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The Goddess Speaks
KUAN-YIN looked merciful enough. Kneeling on the red stool in front of her I shook the canister full of bamboo slips, each printed with a number that would answer a question I had just before Chinese New Year. Finding fate and
faith by numbersIt took a long time for one sliver to drop to the floor.
"99," said the monk.
"Are you sure it's not 66?," I hedged. "You might be reading it upside down."
"It is 99."
"I'm not so sure."
This is what No. 99 said of my year to be: "Inauspicious. It is just like when the fire burns down the house and the heaven sends the timely rain and turns it into ashes."
In business, there would be obstacles, the oracle said.
I insisted that this wasn't my fortune, that I had to look at 66, which read, "Inauspicious. The road is dangerous, the horse is tired and the traveler is anxious. The rapids and the currents have destroyed the boat. The day darkens, the flower withers, the frost falls."
It was easy enough for me to dismiss the forecasts as mere superstition. I had gone to the temple simply to learn the tradition, if it is possible to learn without believing. I've always had difficulty believing in supreme beings and supernatural forces.
And luck? We could all use some, but the notion of creating one's own luck rings truer than the presence of fairy godmothers or otherworldly beings who I'm sure would be pranksters if they did exist. All the prayers and wishes in the world won't help the person who doesn't take the daily small steps to reach his or her goals. Even winning a jackpot takes initiative. You've got to go out and buy the ticket or the stamps to return all Ed McMahon's mailings.
The prize is somehow always out of reach, but at least action can help you stave off the worst of luck. Recently, my car was running on a drop of motor oil. For about a month, I'd watch the meter hit zero then skip back and forth, even when the car was at a standstill. My excuse? No time. I would have been a lot less lucky and have a lot less time if my engine had died. Once my car tasted oil again, the meter no longer skipped and the engine changed its tune from a noisy clicking to a quiet hum.
Knowing all about the action-reaction theory, a lot of us still hope that positive forces are with us when we chance upon our horoscope readings or crack open a fortune cookie.
THE readings above took place two years ago, and turned out to be somewhat prophetic. Late that year we were told that this paper would close, starting a roller coaster ride of career anxiety.
After two years of what seemed like endurance training, I needed amusement. So back to Kuan-Yin's temple I went.
"Do what you will," I surrendered.
This is what my slip of bamboo, No. 12, read: "Good. The change from misfortune to bliss can be so very close in distance. The nobleman you have come to know comes out of the mountain. ... From troubles you receive blessings."
I told a friend about the divination. "Ah, you were troubled," she said.
So I was. It had never occurred to me because I was taught to be a woman warrior, tough and self-reliant. A samurai of an ex-boyfriend reinforced this by setting a goal of making a "real man" out of me, teaching me to hike, camp and shoot pistols, rifles and arrows.
Yet, in the quiet of the temple, I couldn't deny the power of a few simple words that brought a moment of relief.
Nadine Kam is the
Star-Bulletin's features editor.
The Goddess Speaks runs every Tuesday
and is a column by and about women, our strengths, weaknesses,
quirks and quandaries. If you have something to say, write it and
send it to: The Goddess Speaks, the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, P.O.
Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802, or send e-mail
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