Advertisement - Click to support our sponsors.
Full-Court Press
KAPALUA, Maui -- About 100 yards from the entrance of The Ritz-Carlton, it suddenly struck me it might not be a good idea to walk in with a large cup from McDonald's. Orange drinks don’t
cut it at the RitzNot that there's anything wrong with that, but this place is filled with people who can spot a resort rookie in the wink of a diamond. Strolling through the grounds with a big orange drink will definitely get you checked at the gate.
"Sir, you're under arrest for impersonating a Ritz-Carlton guest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.''
Fortunately, a trash can carefully disguised as a flower box reminded me I wasn't in Kaaawa anymore. Not that I fooled anyone in my Wrangler shorts, faded T-shirt and Heisman Trophy hat.
One unlucky Mercedes couple almost stopped before getting in an elevator with me, figuring they had stumbled on the service entrance by mistake. I almost asked them if they could get me a good deal on that new Mercedes S600 near the lobby.
Had my wife been with me, she would have struck up a conversation as easily as the best dealer on the lot. By the eighth floor, they would have agreed to a test drive tomorrow, just for her. But alone, neither even offered me a card.
If you have a chance to get away this weekend, feel free to join us. Folks on Maui already know this is the place to be. The PGA Tour officially began this week with the game's best and brightest stars.
From Tiger Woods to Clint Eastwood to Joe Torre to David Duval. Everywhere you turn, men from a different walk of life wander by, waving a drink and delivering a smile for the cameras. This is the big top. Only high-wire artists need apply.
Nothing short of a major championship will produce a better gallery of golfers, who will be strolling through The Plantation Course fairways this weekend. Where else could Woods hold a press conference where he didn't need the 18th fairway to fit everyone in?
The Mercedes Championships is not only a cozy setting for the media, but for golf fans as well. Woods will be the major attraction, but there's still plenty of room to see him go from tee to green without camping out overnight or paying prices bordering on the ridiculous.
UNFORTUNATELY, Oahu fans won't be afforded the same luxury at the Sony Open. Woods is skipping next week's event. So are fellow marquee mates Duval and Phil Mickelson. It can't be the money.
This year's purse is a stunning $4 million with the winner pocketing $720,000. I remember working in Las Vegas a dozen-odd years ago when that tournament hit $1 million, attracting players like Greg Norman.
These days, a Tour man of Woods' stature is going to pick and choose events that help him prepare for The Masters, the PGA, the British Open and the U.S. Open. Money isn't as big an attraction as trophies from major championships. This tournament isn't quite in that category, but close enough to have the good folks at Mercedes lighting victory cigars.
They even gave me one. I was about to fire up that baby after my Big Mac, jumbo fries and big drink, but the guys at the gate were starting to swarm in my direction, so I thought better of it.
Maybe after Tiger wins this thing on Sunday, I'll light up on the back row of the press room and blow a big smoke ring in the shape of a dollar sign. Even if he doesn't successfully defend the first of his nine titles, I'll take a big puff for those of us fortunate enough to see him swing in person.
They say he's staying here at the Ritz-Carlton. I haven't seen him yet. But if I do, I'll wave a drink in his direction and try to remember to have something other than a Big Orange in my hand.
Paul Arnett has been covering sports
for the Star-Bulletin since 1990.
Email Paul: parnett@starbulletin.com.