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The Goddess Speaks

By Carol Lee Ramie

Tuesday, December 26, 2000


Every dog has its
day, why not moms?

ZOE my dog, gave birth to a litter of puppies recently. Up until that day, she went just about everywhere with me. Her weekdays were spent at my office, and at night, her little body nestled next to mine as I slept. Zoe is loved by our entire family but I am definitely her "mama." I am the center of Zoe's world, and she is never far away from it.

When her puppies were born, Zoe didn't leave them the entire night. What an amazing sight those newborn puppies were, already bonded to their mama like Super Glue! When the morning came, she jumped out of the box, only long enough to use the restroom. Once finished she bolted back to the box like a streak of lighting!

Sometimes I'd lie by the box and watch her nurse the puppies. She looked so peaceful and content that I actually envied her! All the time in the world to spend with her babies with no interruptions. Her only job in this whole wide world was to take care of her babies.

As I watched her, I was reminded of something most women aren't always able to address, our maternal instincts.

Almost every day, we women wake up and the race begins! Get the kids up, pack their lunches, search for missing shoes and homework folders. Make ponytails and fill out field trip forms. We rush out the door, drop off the kids and get to work. The afternoon comes, were picking them up, stopping at the store, getting dinner started. We help with homework start the laundry.

Then, we're off to our own jobs.

MOST of us love our jobs but we wrestle with the overwhelming task of balancing work and family. After our long day, instead of sitting by their bedside in a rocking chair, reading them bedtime stories, we're yelling at them to get to bed so we can have a little bit of quiet time for ourselves.

When the holidays and new year come rolling around, as unbelievable as it is, we start overloading ourselves in the worst possible way. We want to bake the cookies, visit the elderly, plan the perfect parties. These feelings of wanting to make and create special things during the holidays are, plain and simple, our maternal instincts speaking.

The only problem is that we work 40-plus hours a week and don't have the time or energy to do the things that come so naturally to us.

Christmas turned out to be a very good time to start making the adjustments. Our large family agreed to limit our gift buying to our own children. The time spend on fretting, walking, shopping, wrapping -- all usually done when we are exhausted -- was reduced.

While everyone else was out shopping, we were decorating our tree and making gingerbread men! Our extended family had more time to spend together, celebrating with food and laughter, and the best part was, we actually had the energy to enjoy ourselves!!!

On her first Christmas as a mom, Zoe didn't have to be bothered by all of the Christmas rigmarole. She lay in her box taking care of her babies. What better Christmas gift could there be than her undivided time for her children?

With the new year just around the corner, my wish for all of you mothers is that you find a way to jump into "your box" with your "pups" more often and leave only long enough to use the bathroom!



Carol Lee Ramie has run Island Investigative Services
with her husband for 20 years. In addition to playing mom
to Zoe, she has three children, ages 12 to 20. "



The Goddess Speaks runs every Tuesday
and is a column by and about women, our strengths, weaknesses,
quirks and quandaries. If you have something to say, write it and
send it to: The Goddess Speaks, the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, P.O.
Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802, or send e-mail
to features@starbulletin.com.





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