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The Goddess Speaks
THANK God for people who are not afraid to cut through all those preconceived notions of civil propriety that keep us holding back, believing that someone else will do it, say it or even yell it. In the end, kindness
is all that mattersI'm talking about people who will go so far as to stop traffic, honk their car horn in a crowded parking lot and then yell, "Hey Lady! Your pants is all ripped!!" I'm reminded of this incident that happened about this time last year, when holiday shopping was in full swing. My family still cracks up over this one.
My mother was crossing the parking lot fronting Sears at Ala Moana Center. Hearing a horn honking, she turned around and saw a woman in a pickup truck stopped in the road. The lady was gesturing wildly and tooting her car horn in short jumpy blasts. As my mother stared at this strange person, the woman reached over to the passenger side of her truck, rolled down the window and shouted those seven thought-provoking words.
Realizing then that the woman was yelling at her, my mother reached for the back of her pants. As her fingers touched a cotton surface that did not feel denim, she froze in horror.
"Eh, thanks lady! Thanks for telling me," my mother gratefully yelled back at the woman.
Upon closer inspection, she discovered that the back of her pants had ripped in the shape of a big "7." Amazingly, she hadn't heard or felt her pants tear and didn't feel the hint of a breeze or the flapping of fabric as she nonchalantly made her way across the parking lot. Sears wasn't her first stop in the morning, so she wasn't sure how long she went around mooning people before the woman told her.
We all know that there are certain things you don't say. For instance, if you walked pass someone whose body odor could fill a small warehouse, you certainly wouldn't say, "Geez, you smell awful!" Doing so would be considered rude, and might even land you in Queen's ER.
WHICH brings me to the point of all this. Knowing when to speak out and when to keep quiet takes wisdom, compassion and guts. Just as there are things we keep quiet about, there are things that we downright lie about just so we won't embarrass someone or hurt their feelings.
One year, I received a bottle of perfume for my birthday. The scent was so strong that even after bathing, it lingered on my skin. I had to stop using it because it always set off a sneezing fit that gave me congestion for hours. When I thanked the giver for the perfume, she told me how much she loved the scent and how she'd had to get it for me.
So what did I say? I lied. I told her how much I loved the scent and how I wore it all the time. Seeing the happy smile on her face made my little white lie OK.
Telling such lies to save someone from embarrassment is one thing, but to stop traffic and honk your horn at a complete stranger just so you can call attention to a rip in her pants, goes way beyond the call of duty.
The woman in the truck could easily have driven away thinking, "Oh well, what can I do? I'm driving," and dismissed the thought of getting involved. Had she done so, my mother would have marched right into Sears and continued her shopping, treating everyone to a vision they would just as soon forget.
So, to that woman in the truck who was willing to get involved and had the guts to yell it out, on behalf of my mom I want to sincerely thank you and tell you bravo! My family appreciated your thoughtfulness, no ifs, ands or butts.
Debra Evans is a wife, mother
and writer in Honolulu.
The Goddess Speaks runs every Tuesday
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