Advertisement - Click to support our sponsors.
Honolulu Lite
WHILE the country took a recess from the Electoral College and thousands of knuckleheads in Florida whined that they were too stupid to vote correctly, Hawaii came through this week's election relatively unscathed. Election went from
sublime to sillyTelevision coverage of the national election was an embarrassment bordering on obstructionist. Who knows how many voters across the country, including in Hawaii, decided not to vote after the networks called Florida for Al Gore before the polls in that state had even closed?
Because of the Florida foul-up, no one noticed that the networks also declared Hawaii for Gore hours before our polls closed. Of course, NBC could have safely declared Hawaii's measly four electoral votes for Gore on Labor Day or even St. Patrick's Day considering the state's Democratic heritage. But that's not the point. The point is that television does not cover elections these days, it participates, influences, interferes and possibly impedes elections.
In Hawaii, land of close-your-eyes time, we're used to being on the losing end of such coverage. So it's pretty surprising that nearly 60 percent of Hawaii voters still turned out on Tuesday. That's not good enough, but encouraging, especially considering that this was a yawner of an election. When a sleepy retired civil-defense worker with a mynah bird on his shoulder running for Big Island mayor is the biggest story of the season, you're not talking chicken-skin politics.
I pored over the results looking for interesting aspects of the election that might have fallen through the cracks but came up with very little. Daniel Akaka got more votes than anyone else in Hawaii (251,174) while Shaun Stenshol, Green Party House candidate from Maui, got the least (241). It must have really irked Hawaiian activist Mililani Trask, no big fan of former Gov. John Waihee, to be edged out of an Office of Hawaiian Affairs seat by John Waihee lV, the governor's son. That's a big auwe.
I was impressed with how smoothly voting went at my polling place in Kaneohe compared to the primary election. The ballot was idiot-proof, unlike in Palm Beach County, Fla.
But there's something to be said for ballots being a little complicated. At least if you believe stupid people should not be allowed to vote.
When I left the house yesterday, the Rev. Jesse Jackson was addressing the Florida dummies who screwed up their ballots and unintentionally voted for Pat Buchanan. Jackson, champion of the disenfranchised, apparently has expanded his protection to the stupid. I missed his address but it probably went like this:
"You people are the dumbest people in Florida! (Loud cheers from the crowd.) You are so stupid, you deserve to vote twice! (In the background, a chant began: We Are Dumb! We Are Dumb!). Allowing you to vote without a federal agent in the booth guiding your hand is against a stupid person's civil rights!"
We've all seen the ballot in question. It was kind of complicated but it wasn't a NASA manual. Any careful voter should have been able handle it. We've also seen the Million Man March, the Million Mom March and, as I recall, the Million Hamster Owners March. I guess it now is time for the Million Stupid People March. We know where to find the first participants.
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
The Honolulu Lite online archive is at:
https://archives.starbulletin.com/lite