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Changing Hawaii
A Honolulu City Councilman is indicted by a federal grand jury. A non-Hawaiian has been picked to lead the Office of Hawaiian Affairs. And a Canadian publisher has gone and bought Oahu's afternoon daily. It’s a mad,
mad, mad mad,
mad mad electionBut nothing is more eyebrow-raising in the world right now than what's happening (or not happening) with the U.S. presidential election.
Auwe. Just when you thought all the political hoopla was mercifully over, it's back with an unrelenting, 24-hours-a-day-on-CNN, this-is-ridiculous fury.
The intricacies and ironies over a nationwide vote that is too close to call are staggering:
Forget the adage about winning the battle but losing the war. The revised year 2000 version: Winning the popular vote while losing the presidency.
What's up with the networks putting Hawaii in the "Won By Gore" category in the middle of our voting day? Are we THAT predictably and irrefutably pro-Democratic? Don't answer that.
Stop ripping the TV media for making "premature" prognostications on which candidate won what state based on early returns. 'Fess up. We were all channel-surfing like crazy to find out who was leading where.
Next time you want to complain that the Hawaii ballot is too confusing, take a gander at the ridiculously complex one at ground zero of the controversy: Palm Beach County, Fla. Heck, I probably would have voted for Pat Buchanan there, too.
All this attention being paid to Florida can't be good for our visitor industry. The Hawaii Tourism Authority must be having fits.
Who are these mystery overseas voters who could determine the outcome of the election and, more important, do Gore and Bush know where these poor saps live?
Mind-boggling suggestions to resolve this mess include a revote for Palm Beach County residents, a recount for all states with close races, a revote for the entire nation, and Maureen Dowd's tongue-in-cheek (we hope) suggestion on the opposite page that Clinton just stay on.
Best quote from a Bush backer: "Our democratic process calls for a vote on Election Day; it does NOT call for us to continue voting until someone likes the outcome."
Best quote from the Gore side -- while jogging and as reporters were calling out questions to him: "We're having a great run here!"
Scary thought: What if all the recounts, protests, legal challenges and appeals last four years?
Why can't we just settle this island-style: jan-ken-po, two out of three, winner take all. Please.
Honestly. The people of Hawaii have more important matters to deal with -- like Councilman Andy Mirikitani being indicted, Charles Ota serving as an OHA trustee and that other big thing making news in the Star-Bulletin this week.
Diane Yukihiro Chang's column runs Monday and Friday.
She can be reached by phone at 525-8607, via e-mail at
dchang@starbulletin.com, or by fax at 523-7863.