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Honolulu Lite
IF you were wondering why voter turnout is at an all-time low, all you had to do was tune in to that snooze-fest they tried to pass off as a presidential debate. Quality of candidates
not debatableThese two guys, Totem Pole Al and Alfred E. Bush, are the best candidates our political system could cough up?
Seeing them together on the same stage, lying, bumbling and generally looking like a couple of doofuses explains why there are so many "undecideds" out there. Actually, the term "undecideds" is a media concoction. A more accurate description of the 15 percent of the voting public in doubt would be "uninspired," "unimpressed" or "unconscious."
They have been rendered unconscious by a mind-numbing campaign whose highlights have been one candidate kissing his wife and the other struggling to pronounce polysyllabic words (which George Bush would pronounce "poly-syllamabalic.")
And mind you, that's 15 percent of the VOTING public. The number of people actually planning to vote is only about 40 percent of the American population. That means that more than 100 million citizens are not even interested enough in the election to become undecideds.
And why? Because the system has become so homogenized under the control of just two parties that there is little room left for creativity, inspiration, dynamism and, sadly, true leadership.
Bush and Gore are the product of a political sausage factory that squirts out "my turn" candidates. It's Gore's turn to run for president because he's been a good little yes-man for one of the country's most morally-challenged presidents. It's Bush's turn to be the Republican candidate because a bunch of fat cats want somebody in the office they can safely control.
Having Gore and Bush as candidates turns otherwise decent party faithful into raving hypocrites. True liberals know that Gore is an automaton in pursuit of power at any cost, even at the expense of historically liberal Democratic ideals. If they had an ounce of self-respect they'd be supporting Ralph Nader,who truly reflects their beliefs.
Republicans know that Bush is a lightweight. But they figure if they prop him up with enough real people like Colin Powell, John McCain and Dick Cheney he'll be able to muddle through eight years in office without accidentally pressing the nuclear button.
IN a way, it's probably good for those of us in Hawaii not to have to worry about who's running for president. It would be bad if there were some candidates that we actually got excited about because we wouldn't really get to vote for them anyway. Because of the east-west time difference, the candidates are in bed in their jammies and the election is decided by the time we get in the voting booth.
We are supposedly better off than residents of Guam or Puerto Rico, who don't get to vote for president, but our four electoral votes have yet to turn an election. (A colleague argues that in a close election -- like the Gerald Ford-Jimmy Carter race -- Hawaii could make a difference. But it didn't then, it never has and I doubt it will this year. If anything, fewer Hawaii residents will be voting in November because most local contests are about as exciting as watching mud dry.)
Of course, we don't even get to watch mud dry anymore because no candidates are throwing any around. It's against the rules. It might make the election interesting.
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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