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Honolulu Lite
I was feeling Hawaiian this morning. Then I saw Haunani-Kay Trask on television telling the governor that if you aren't Hawaiian, you aren't allowed to feel Hawaiian. So I stopped feeling Hawaiian and went back to feeling, I don't know, German, I guess. And no, I didn't suddenly want to take over the world. If you're not German, you can't know what it's like to feel German. So, I kind of understand where Trask is coming from. Except, since she's only part-Hawaiian, does she only feel Hawaiian part of the time? Politics make
strange TV fellowsAll of that has absolutely nothing to do with today's topic, which is politics. I know absolutely nothing about politics, which is why I was surprised when Leslie Wilcox of Channel 2 called and asked me to come on her morning show and talk about, of all things, politics.
Never one to let ignorance get in the way of hearty conversation, I immediately agreed to go on the show.
Then I panicked. What if she expected me to actually know something about tomorrow's primary election. Like who's in it, for instance. So I flipped through the newspaper voter guide to bone up on the more exciting races. When I regained consciousness several minutes later, I realized I was in the clear. There is absolutely nothing exciting about tomorrow's primary election.
The mayor's race isn't a race, it's a victory lap for Mayor Jeremy Harris. It'll be fun, however, to watch the Hawaii Government Employees Association, which represents tons of city workers, kiss and make up with Harris after the election because the HGEA supported Mufi Hannemann.
The congressional races are snores. There is one interesting guy running for the U.S. Senate. He says he's running "to take down Al Gore! He's the Third Anti-Christ depicted in the Bible, will become our next president and bring about World War III." You don't see many people running on the Anti-Christ Platform anymore.
THE Big Island mayor's contest is rather zany. There are more candidates than the cast of a Cecil B. DeMille movie. I was disappointed that the candidate named Buck Wheat is no longer running. But apparently Alfalfa and Spanky are still in it.
Former Civil Defense Director Harry Kim is a favorite in this race. His reputation as a voice of calm during natural disasters has made him a legend. I saw him being interviewed on television and a mynah bird perched on his shoulder. He looked like Father Nature, friend to all the creatures of the forest.
The fight between Republicans Fred Hemmings and Whitney Anderson for state Senate has some life. Former pro surfer and legislator Hemmings is pounding on Anderson for voting to oust Attorney General Margery Bronster. And Anderson deserves it. Voters should remember which senators running for reelection ran interference for the millionaire trustees of Bishop Estate during the biggest investigation of its kind in state history. The senators managed to dump Bronster, but the investigation exposed how thoroughly Kamehameha Schools had been corrupted. For the record, the other senators up for reelection who were in on the Bronster kill were Carol Fukunaga, Marshall Ige and Brian Kanno. They tried to protect the powerful from the people instead of the other way around. Now it's time for the people in their districts to sing them a few words from 'N Sync: "baby, bye, bye, bye."
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
The Honolulu Lite online archive is at:
https://archives.starbulletin.com/lite