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Honolulu Lite
THE Associated Press wire story on a prison riot was uncharacteristically lacking in one essential detail: What was WRONG with the rice? A sticky problem
for our inmatesSomething had to be wrong with the rice at the Florence Correctional Facility in Arizona last week because the condition of the rice sent a Hawaii inmate over the edge, causing him to attack a guard.
That sparked a rice riot, in which a dozen Hawaii prisoners ran amok, breaking windows, smashing TVs, shattering computers and holding one guard hostage. You could understand inmates rioting over a major entree, like meatloaf or lasagna, but you usually don't see inmates going berserk over a side dish, like rice. (You'd also think that with TVs, computers and windows, the inmates would be pretty happy.)
The AP story told how several other non-Hawaii inmates joined in the melee, but didn't say whether they, too, were upset with the rice or just taking advantage of the situation to protest prison food in general.
The rice riot went on for an hour and a half. One guard had to be treated at the hospital for a broken hand and head injuries, so the rice problem obviously had been steaming, so to speak, for some time.
If I were to guess, I'd say that the problem with the rice was that it wasn't Hawaii sticky rice but probably that boiled Uncle Ben kind of rice in which each grain falls separately on the plate. This is mainland rice and it is hard to eat unless it is all gooped together with gravy. If you try to eat it plain, like we eat rice in Hawaii, you end up chasing individual grains around on the plate with a fork.
It's just as hard for a Hawaii resident to eat Uncle Ben's rice with a fork as it is for a mainland resident to eat local-style rice with chopsticks.
So, I'd be guessing about the sticky rice vs. Uncle Ben's theory and as an investigative humorist, it's my job to dig up the truth and make jokes about it.
I called Ted Sakai, Public Safety Director here, and asked him point-blank: "What was the prisoners' beef with the rice?"
AND, he replied equally point-blank: "I really don't know. I haven't had the pleasure of dining with them."
But he did say he thought there was something more serious than the condition of the rice that caused the riot.
The rice might have just been the spark that broke the camel's back, or something like that.
Sakai said that food for Hawaii's roughly 1,100 inmates being housed in mainland prisons is a constant problem. You can imagine how hard it is for Hawaii inmates to go from eating plate lunches with two scoops rice, macaroni salad and teri-chicken to instant mashed potatoes, grits and Hamburger Helper. Some would even call it cruel and unusual punishment, although the U.S. Supreme Court hasn't rule on that yet.
Sakai said some mainland prisons are adjusting their menus to accommodate Hawaii inmates.
"Some of them try to get our inmates who know how to cook to work in the kitchen and make shoyu chicken and teriyaki," he said. But those prisons likely don't have steamers to make local-style rice, which is a sticky problem.
Obviously, Sakai didn't have all the answers so I called the Arizona prison and asked to talk to Warden Pablo Sedillo. Sedillo was too busy to come to the phone, but the officer who answered said he'd call me back, which he promptly didn't.
Don't worry. I'm not giving up. Hawaii residents pay good tax money to ship our criminals to the mainland and we deserve to know what's wrong with the rice they're fed. Stay tuned.
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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