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Honolulu Lite
WHAT a weird couple of weeks of politics it's been. Politics all dirty
(word) businessLocally, Gov. Ben Cayetano directed his own version of the television show "Survivor" by engineering the mass resignation of the entire board of trustees for the Office of Hawaiian Affairs.
As far as chess moves go, you didn't have to be Bobby Fischer to figure out what the governor was up to. The trustees had become pawns of the legal system and Cayetano's knights on the state Supreme Court had them in check. Once the trustees had taken themselves off the playing board, Cayetano stuck a couple of his favorites back in the game, like OHA Chairman Clayton Hee and Hannah Springer.
Left on the sideline were trustee Rowena Akana who had called the governor antiHawaiian and trustee Mililani Trask who called Cayetano's buddy, Sen. Daniel Inouye, a "one-armed bandit." Cayetano might possess many fine qualities, but a thick skin isn't among them, as Akana and Trask should have known. Checkmate.
If you thought making fun of a World War II veteran who lost an arm in battle was an all-time political low, you didn't see Mililani's sister, UH professor Haunani Trask, holding a sign outside Washington Place with two words that rhyme with "Huck Finn," suggesting an obscene sexual act toward the governor.
THAT was a new low, even for the Trasks, who aren't known as the "subtle sisters." I'm sure parents with children passing by the sign enjoyed explaining to the kids why a university educator and public figure would use such vile language. Haunani's stunt made Indiana University basketball coach Bobby Knight look like Mr. Rodgers. Lucky for Trask, she has something Knight didn't have: tenure.
But the Trasks have good role models when it comes to using offensive language. Presidential candidate George W. Bush was caught referring to a newspaper reporter as a, uh, posterior orifice. The rest of the press went nuts. How could a presidential candidate use such foul language?
My reaction was, IS the guy a posterior orifice? I mean, lots of reporters are. On purpose. Maybe Bush was just telling the truth. Or Bush might have been wrong. The reporter in question might be some other kind of orifice, like a loudmouth. We need an independent counsel to get to the, uh, bottom of it.
Other nasty language emerged in a Republican National Committee commercial which allegedly flashed the subliminal word "RATS" on the screen while talking about Al Gore and Co. The RNC said it was an accident, the "RATS" was just part of the world "BUREAUCRATS" that flashed briefly on the screen. First off, it wasn't an accident. It was perfectly centered on the screen. And it wasn't subliminal. It was "liminal," or at least obvious. What's next? A Democratic commercial attacking the Texas governor for vetoing a "hunger bill overnight" but highlighting only the letters "... gerbil lover ...?"
It's all too silly.
Speaking of silly. The press also made a big deal of President Clinton shaking hands with Cuban President Fidel Castro at the UN peace summit. What was he supposed to do? Body slam him? As usual, the press missed the real story. I have it from several sources that it was the first time in history a Cuban tried to buy a cigar from an American.
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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