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Honolulu Lite
IN the days of the great sailing ships, a captain could make a fortune and his crew could do pretty well by capturing an enemy ship. State to rely on
neo bucaneersA ship, once taken, was considered a "prize." It was sailed to the nearest friendly port, where its cargo was appraised. The wealth was divided according to a certain formula with everybody from admirals to the lowest deck hand getting a cut. Crewmen would fight to join with a "lucky" captain during Admiral Nelson's day -- a captain who was not "shy" and willing to engage anything afloat, even if outgunned. It was sort of an 18th-century government incentive program. Otherwise, it would have been hard to get a crew of sailors living on rats and weevil-infested biscuits enthused about risking their lives in battle.
For those of you who consider naval history about as interesting as watching barnacles grow, hold on. In just a moment, I'll cleverly tie all this nautical junk together with, of all things, Honolulu traffic enforcement.
Now, it wasn't just government ships that were allowed to take prizes. If you owned your own ship, you could get a "Letter of Marque" from the government, a sort of non-bid contract that allowed you to also enjoy the taking of prizes. These ships were called "privateers," which sounds something like a word thrown around today, "privatize." There are similarities. Privateers often were considered nothing more than government-sanctioned pirates horning in on the action of "real" sailors, in much the same way that employees of "privatized" companies -- those hired to do government work-- are despised by "real" employees, meaning unionized government workers.
THE surprising thing is that as much as the entrenched union-controlled power brokers today complain about "privatization," they quietly embrace it. Where would any major government development be without "privatized" architects and engineers? So while some state senators vow to block the "privatization" of prisons, their law partners and business cronies get fat on non-bid contracts, the Nirvana of "privatization." Take the selection of a company to run our future elections. That selection was so "privatized" only one company was allowed to submit a bid!
But now there's a dramatic shift taking place, one that is moving us from "privatization" to the good old days of "privateering."
In case you missed it, the state is planning to hire a company to enforce traffic laws, specifically, the running of red lights. The selected company will install sophisticated cameras at intersections that will take pictures of cars that run red lights. The owners of those cars will then be sent tickets. Revenue from the fines will be split between the company and the state. Essentially, the state is issuing a Letter of Marque to the selected privateer.
This no doubt will cause the usual problems privateering did in the old days, namely, jealousy. Cops who give tickets for red-light running won't get a cut of the action while the privateer will.
And why should it be limited to red-light offenses? Any crime punishable by a fine should be open to privateers. Drug dealing, embezzlement, robbery ... loitering.
It's a brave new world of law enforcement. At this moment, I'm establishing the Honolulu Lite Division of Jaywalking. Avast, matey, step off that sidewalk and you become my prize.
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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