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Honolulu Lite
WHY did the chicken cross Kamehameha Highway? If the chicken was in Laie, it was probably because someone was chasing it. Bird in hand is
worth a buck in LaieThere will be a lot of people in Laie chasing chickens in coming weekends and you can be one of them.
Laie, like a lot of Oahu these days, is overrun with wild chickens and roosters. You could say that the chickens have run "afowl" of Laie residents, but that would be a shameless abuse of the federal Defense Against Puns Act.
Leave it to common-sense country folk to come up with a fun and productive way of ridding the community of wild chickens, that has absolutely nothing to do with huli huli. The Laie Community Association decided to have a chicken round-up, which strikes me as a terrific way to spend a Saturday morning.
Just think, the thrill of the chase, the exercise, the possibility you could end up on "America's Funniest Home Videos" as you run headlong into the side of a house in pursuit of a Rhode Island Red!
A bunch of feral chickens live on the hill above my house and, I'll tell you, they're fast. I've never gotten within 5 feet of one. So how are you supposed to nab 'em? I called Gerry Nihipali of the Laie Community Association to find out how to catch a turbo chick.
The secret to catching wild chickens apparently is to start out with several troops of Boy Scouts. Those are easy to come by in Laie because it is predominately Mormon. The community is divided into church wards and each ward has its own Boy Scout troop, Nihipali said.
SO, when they were figuring out what to do about the chickens, the community association decided just to tap into its standing army of scouts.
The scouts will be mainly responsible for rounding up the chickens on May 20 and 27. The troops will receive $1 for each chicken caught and the troop that catches the most will get new camping gear.
But that doesn't mean civilians can't join in, Nihipali said. They just have to associate themselves with a particular troop so that troop can receive the bounty.
Once caught, the chickens will be inspected by a representative of the Wildlife Connection, a group devoted to protecting wild animals, even annoying ones like wild chickens and roosters. The chickens found free of disease and parasites will be given away to people willing to take care of them.
The big question, still, is how do you catch a wild chicken? Nihipali said there are a number of ways. The easiest is the old-fashioned cardboard box-stick-string method. (How you get a scared, angry chicken out from under a cardboard box, she didn't say.)
You also can use a fishing net, which sounds more sporting. (How you get scared, angry chickens untangled from a fishing net, she didn't say.)
Another way is to tie a string on a rooster and walk him around. If he's a particularly studly rooster, chickens will just follow him. (Where you lead a bunch of love-struck hens, Nihipali didn't say. I suppose you could just walk them down to Kaaawa and leave them there.)
So, if you're interested in trying to catch large, wild, feathered animals or if you have room at home for those that are caught, call the Wildlife Connection or Nihipali at 293-9988.
(This column has been certified Chicken Pun-Free by the Defense Against Puns Investigative Commission.)
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to charley@nomayo.com or
71224.113@compuserve.com.
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