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Honolulu Lite

by Charles Memminger

Wednesday, April 19, 2000


Getting to the bottom
of a Lite pile

TIME to check in with the Honolulu Lite Department of Odds and Ends, a rather large mess on my desk comprising news clippings, napkin scribbles and other minutiae unable individually to carry the weight of an entire column but worth brief discussion. Or maybe not.

First up is the curious story from the Sunday Advertiser regarding the possible pending proposed potential pendent propounded closing of this newspaper. The purpose apparently was to determine how Star-Bulletin staff members are coping with the situation. My answer is we are doing the best we can, considering we are being treated like a roomful of mushrooms by attorneys in the case. (Check any gardening manual for the proper conditions for growing mushrooms.)

One of the most curious elements of the story was the decision to highlight the financial status of one employee, Trini Peltier, administrative assistant to the managing editor and editorial page editor. In her 45 years at the paper, Trini, the story tells us, "has accumulated enough Gannett stock for $100,000 trust funds for each of her 13 grandchildren." The subtext seems to be that if a secretary is pulling down that kind of bread, just think what everyone else is making.

The article goes on to say that financially, "not everyone" at the Bulletin is as well off as Trini. The line should have been: Financially, not ANYONE is as well off as Trini. Thanks to a pay-dispute settlement nearly 30 years ago, Gannett gave Trini a bunch of shares of stock. She was smart enough to hang onto it.

To say "not everyone" at the paper is as well-heeled as Trini implies that at least a few employees are. Trust me, NO ONE is in that league at the paper except the owner, and I'm not sure about him. In fact, perhaps the line should have been, "Financially, not everyone in SILICON VALLEY is as well off as Trini."

The line tends to leave the impression that Star-Bulletin employees are filthy rich and just sort of do this job as a hobby. Curious. But wrong.

Tapa

Next item involves my recent column regarding volunteerism by Generation Xers. A caller complained that he's a GenXer, he's 27, and volunteers all the time. The people I was referring to were teen-agers who wear baggy pants and hats on backward, he said. I asked what I should call them, then. He said, why not call them "teen-agers with baggy pants and hats on backward." Point well taken.

By the way, teen-agers who want to volunteer this summer can check the Helping Hands Hawaii Voluntary Action Center Web site at http://www.americaspromisehawaii.org. I messed up the first column by listing the site's address with a .com instead of .org. The site also can be reached through https://archives.starbulletin.com.

Tapa

On the national front, the Elian Gonzalez saga drags on. Both sides have plenty to be ashamed of regarding the way the kid is being treated. But there's one thing that really bugs me. They keep showing him playing in his great uncle's Miami yard, which is overgrown with weeds and tall grass. Doesn't anyone there own a weedwacker?

There's a busted-up plastic swimming pool in one corner. Hey, Uncle Lazaro, there're a hundred cameras outside. Clean up that dump. Forget Bay of Pigs. Think Pig Sty. Makes Havana look like the Riviera.

Rats. We've run out of space. We'll have to get to the rest of the pile another day.



Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to charley@nomayo.com or
71224.113@compuserve.com.



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