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The Goddess Speaks
CANCER is something that can creep up on us or our loved ones. And, since it is such a scary issue, most people probably prefer to avoid the morbid subject. I have to admit I was one who preferred not to think about it. Facing the reality
of CancerMy mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer. No longer blessed with ignorance, I now have first-hand experience of the feelings associated when a loved one has cancer.
When she first told me, the fact that she had the disease just didn't sink in. She never appeared to be sick. The possibility that the woman I treasure most in the world had cancer was not acceptable. Until this moment, I had never imagined her not being a part of my life. Somehow, parents seem invincible.
Weakness overcame me as I listened to her describe the scenario. I felt dizzy, as if the room was spinning. It was almost as if I were receiving the diagnosis. I kept the news to myself for days. If the matter was not discussed, it wouldn't be real.
My mother had gone to a doctor for a mammogram and an ultrasound showing cysts, then was sent merrily on her way. Amazingly, after going through all these tests, she thought she was fine. It was not until weeks later that they informed her cancer cells were found.
SHE has inflammatory breast cancer, which is a rare form that is known to spread rapidly. The doctor gave her no hope of survival.
Once the reality started to sink in, I felt it was necessary to get as much information as possible.
I turned to the Internet for help. In 15 minutes and with a couple of clicks of the mouse, I found more information than I wanted.
Just as the doctor had said, there were plenty of articles focusing on the negative aspects of cancer. All of the stories focused on the lengthy ordeal of chemotherapy, surgery, the possibility of mastectomy, radiation and even more chemotherapy treatments.The thought of her enduring all this is overwhelming.
Selfishly, I say give her all the treatment she can endure, so we can share our lives with her for many years to come. She has always been the backbone of our family, projecting strength beyond belief. She takes care of everyone while maintaining such dignity. My Dad calls her "the rock" of the family.
She claims the rock is crumbling, but her fighting spirit shines through. She is living the nightmare that so many other women before her have faced.
The thought of the long haul with all of the treatments seems scary. But, fortunately, she has found a caring doctor who has instilled in her a faith in the healing process.
One positive aspect of this horrible disease is you begin to view things differently. Life becomes more precious and simple pleasures become more enjoyable. Everyday problems and stress are suddenly insignificant.
One cannot truly understand something until it happens to them.
One thing I know, is the next time someone is discussing cancer or other illness or misfortune, I will be more caring, compassionate and understanding, because I now have a better sense of the pain so many are forced to endure.
Nancy Arcayna is features editorial assistant at the Star-Bulletin.
The Goddess Speaks runs every Tuesday
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