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Blindsided by love
Star-Bulletin
BLIND dates can be disastrous, but they can also lead to happy endings we discovered through our Valentine's Day write-in contest, "Love is Blind." We asked you to share blind date stories -- the good, the bad, the ugly -- and we received tales of rude behavior, lengthy pursuits, long-distance romances, Internet hookups and one narrative in which our Romeo ended up being introduced to his date's boyfriend.
Thanks to all who poured their hearts out. In the end, we proved to be suckers for a happy ending.
Our top winner was Debbie Kubota of Kailua, whose friends often tried to play matchmaker "and they were so unsuccessful. I was surprised by the kind of guys they chose for me."
LOVE BITES
In a survey of 411 women nationwide, the Harlequin Romance Report found that 27 percent met their current mate through work or school, 21 percent were introduced by a friend, 8 percent met at a bar or party, and 1 percent met through singles ads or the Internet.
Optimism rules for women 24 and under. Ninety percent of them believe they'll find the right man and remain married to him for the rest of their lives. That optimism drops to 73 percent for women approaching 44.
The French call it coup de foudre or a bolt of lightning. The Spanish call it el flechazo or the arrow's strike. We call it love at first sight, and another Harlequin Romance Survey polled 6,628 men and women in 22 countries on their feelings about this sensation.
Those most likely to report experiencing love at first sight are from Mexico (71 percent), Denmark (67 percent) and China (67 percent). Those least likely to feel Cupid's arrow instantly are from the United States (27 percent), the U.K. (33 percent) and Canada (35 percent).
Meanwhile, 44 percent globally feel that love at first sight is merely lust, while 73 percent believe it is a true chemical reaction that has the potential to blossom into the perfect union.
-- The Harlequin Romance Report
Through her work as a physical therapist, she met Kazue Miyashiro, a relative of one of her homecare patients. Said Debbie, "She hardly knew me, and she was the one who found the right person."
That person is Alan Kubota, Debbie's husband of nearly 12 years. They have three children, 10-year-old Kerianne, 8-year-old Cameron and 2-year-old Colin.
Alan has turned out to be a Mr. Mom, taking care of the kids while working from home as a family portrait photographer.
He worked at the Boy Scout Council office with Kazue prior to meeting Debbie. He had a couple of failed relationships, and that, combined with long working hours meant, he said, "My social life was pretty bleak. I had resigned myself to being single all my life."
Kazue, who watched Alan and thought he was a good man, said, "I thought he was at an age when he should be finding somebody."
Alan and Debbie were the only people she has ever tried to match up, though, never having married, Kazue said, "I should be matchmaking myself."
The Kubotas win our top prize of $200 and a chocolate pyramid cake.
Our second place winner is Hawaii Pacific University nursing student Pam Robson, who is engaged to marry her sweetheart, Chris Barretto. She wins $100 and a chocolate pyramid cake.
And the third place award of $50, a mini chocolate pyramid and Hershey bar goes to Alezandra Paclib, who was courted through letters and phone calls by Robert S.Y. Lee III -- while she was imprisoned for theft.
Paclib and Lee are now the parents of 6-month-old Ainsley Kamaha'o'okalani Lee, and have talked about marriage "someday."
THE UP SIDE
She almost gave up on
By Debbie Kubota
love before the big ‘match’
First placeIT won't be so bad," I thought as I resigned myself to being single for the rest of my life, at least I might find fulfillment in other ways, such as seeing my patients progress in my work as a physical therapist.
Maybe "Mr. Right" was just not in Hawaii and I should return to my roots in Pasadena, Calif. But, deep down inside I still harbored the dream of being swept off my feet and having a loving husband and family. Little did I know that a "Fairy Godmother" by the name of Kazue Miyashiro had plans for me.
Kazue was a secretary at the local Boy Scout council office. I met her in an assignment as a home care therapist. I told her of my moving to Hawaii from California as an adventure after graduating from college. My maternal grandmother had been born and raised in Mountain View on the Big Island and this was an opportunity to get to know her relatives on Oahu and the Big Island.
One day, out of the blue, Kazue asked if I was dating anyone and if I was interested in meeting someone named Alan with whom she worked. Although my initial reaction was to decline, she had such a good heart I could not offend her. So, I agreed, figuring all I had to do was go out with him once, and gave her my number.
I almost hoped that he wouldn't call, because previous blind dates had been disastrous. To top it off, my impression of a Boy Scout was not very favorable; the Scouts I knew while growing up were all nerdy, with pimply faces and thick-rimmed glasses -- and this guy worked for the Boy Scouts? He must be the ultimate dweeb, I thought.
Five months later I thought I was in the clear. Then Alan finally called. (Kazue had called me twice during this time to reassure me that she had given him my number and that he would call.)
He later said that he was surprised that I remembered who he was and was speechless when I accepted his invitation to attend a birthday party for a Scouter. He also confessed that he was a little apprehensive at first. Kazue told him that I paddled and played volleyball, so his first thoughts were, "this girl must be a tita." He even tried to pass my number on to a colleague.
Coincidentally, while talking to a girlfriend, I discovered that this party I was invited to was for her grandfather. When I told her I would be Alan's date, she said she remembered him as being old, probably in his 40s (I was in my early 30s). Her husband, however, gave me hope. He recalled meeting Alan and thought he was about my age, and even thought his looks were OK.Just in case, my girlfriend and I devised an "escape/rescue plan." If things weren't working out, I would signal her and she would ask me to help her with some aspect of the party.
Finally the big night arrived. I was filled with anxiety. What did I get myself into again!!? But when Alan's white Celica pulled up, it was love at first sight, my Prince Charming on his white horse! I melted when he handed me a red rose.
We talked nonstop all evening; the other partygoers thought we were old friends. Kazue was seated at our table, and judging by her smile, I'm sure she knew that her efforts were successful. Although we ended that evening with a courteous handshake, we dated steadily for four weeks after that fateful evening. By our third date I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
On the fifth week I had to go to the mainland for a previously scheduled cross-country vacation with my family, and as fate would have it, Alan also had to be on the mainland during the same time for a Scout training session in Texas. We planned to meet again in California where I would introduce him to my family, and show him my hometown.
I missed him dearly while we were apart, and my family knew it. They greeted him warmly upon meeting him. The best reaction came from my grandmother who gave him a huge hug. Her gesture stunned us; this was very unlike her, especially when meeting someone for the first time.
Twelve years (almost), three wonderful children, a dog, a house and a minivan later, we have discovered many coincidences that lead us to believe that our union was meant to be.
Our families actually had ties reaching back to the days of our grandparents -- my grandfather's brother and Alan's grandfather were good friends; my mother's cousins and his mother are lifelong friends in Hilo; and one cousin was his high school classmate. They had attended the Scout World Jamboree in Japan together and had been lab partners at UH-Hilo.
Even our birthdates are in the same year and same month, a day apart (he's older).
After we had known each other six weeks, it felt as if our hearts had known each other for perhaps six decades -- and our "Fairy Godmother" also knew it.
It all started at the bus stop
By Pam Robson
Second place winnerABOUT nine years ago, I was a high school student doing my everyday thing. School, homework, and catching the bus back home. Little did I know this guy I would see every day at the bus stop would one day be my fiance and best friend.
Back then I was preoccupied with school and the last thing I wanted was to get a broken heart. I guess you could say that I'd been down that cold lonely road before and I didn't want to feel that powerful stinging emotion again. So, sitting contentedly at the bus stop, I would always see Chris walking by.
He was about my age and he was walking to work. Truthfully, I never gave him or his handsome smile much thought beyond that. He was just a stranger in my eyes.
But Chris had a different view. Somehow, he knew that we would be together. He even spoke to his family about seeing me sitting at the bus stop and was certain that I was going to be his future wife.
He never talked to me because he thought I was "taken," although the guy he often saw me with was just a platonic friend.
Five years later and all grown up, I still had the same negative thoughts about love. I decided to put all my energy into my job and I thought I was happy doing so. I think my sister Maria was getting very worried and decided to do something about it.
She set me up on a couple of dates and they turned out to be bummers. Most of the time it was the chemistry thing. Either you click with the person or not. I don't understand how you can be with someone if you don't feel any kind of attraction.
Well, after 10 lousy dates, I decided to let my sister know that I was OK with being alone. Well, one day at my sister's house, her boyfriend Jack had a couple of friends over and one of them happened to be Chris.
It seemed that Jack was so happy to be in love with my sis, he decided to show all his friends a picture of her. I was in one of those pictures, making bunny ears behind her back. That's when Chris remembered that the silly girl making the bunny ears was the one he saw at the bus stop and the one he'd been thinking about from time to time.
Chris begged Jack to introduce me to him but I was always busy, until one Saturday when my sister invited me to the movies. It was all set up, a blind date without me knowing. I went along thinking we were just going as three friends until I saw Chris.
His shy awkward stance and his gentle smile made me feel comfortable immediately and I forgot how upset I was at my sister for tricking me. I remembered that his was the face of the boy I used to see walking to work. Only, he is definitely not a boy anymore, but a kind, handsome man.
I liked his smile and I knew that I was going to have a great time despite what I was feeling earlier. I was glad my sister tricked me into going to the movie with them.
Afterward, we sang karaoke until our throat couldn't take it any more. I have to admit I never sang like that in front of anyone. Being with Chris that night made me open up and enjoy life.
It's funny how fate works and I truly believe that there is a perfect love for everyone in this world. We have been together almost three years, and have been engaged for one. Our wedding date is in April, the month of my birthday.
In meeting Chris I have learned a valuable lesson: always open your heart to possible things and never turn your back on love. We have to believe in miracles and in ourselves. I, for one, have found my equal, my best friend and true love, or shall I say soul-mate, Chris Barretto.
We were prisoners of love
By Alezandra Paclib
Third place winnerI met Robert S.Y. Lee III over the telephone while I was incarcerated at the Maui Community Correctional Center in 1996. My cell mate Mahina and her boyfriend Lance set the whole thing up!
We hit it off immediately! For the next two years, Robert and I wrote and talked on the phone everyday (even though he lived on Oahu and I had to "sneak" a couple calls on the days I wasn't supposed to use the phone) and yes, his bill was outrageous, but he didn't mind! In fact, he insisted that I call him every day, so I did.
Over the phone we laughed, we cried, we shared our hopes and dreams with one another, and we soon realized that we both wanted the same things in life.
After a month or two Robert began sending me clothes and $100 every two weeks. He continued to do so until the day I was released. Now, tell me where anyone else could find someone so loving, caring and giving? Toward a perfect stranger? Let alone a stranger in prison?
Well, I found this "someone" and I thank God for blessing me with this awesome man. He's seven years younger than I am, but, age doesn't matter. What matters is that he opened up his heart to me and gave me something to look forward to!
He never came to visit or meet me during this two-year period, but it didn't matter. I received photos of him a few months after we met on the phone, and although they were a bit blurry, I carried them everywhere with me.
Our feelings for one another grew much stronger than friendship and the day I realized I was in love with this man I only knew through his voice and thoughts. I had butterflies in my tummy!
He admitted our love for one another was mutual, and suddenly the days flew by. The week before I was to be released I began feeling scared and nervous about meeting him. I began thinking: "What if he isn't who he says he is? What if he's a drug addict? Alcoholic? Or even a murderer or a bum?"
Why would this man want to be "hooked" up with someone in prison?
On the day I was released, I sat on the plane heading back home to Honolulu and to the man I loved yet feared. I closed my eyes to say a prayer. This is what I said: "Lord, I know that you wouldn't send harm or bad to me in any way, therefore I believe that you have sent Robert into my life for good reasons. I trust you Lord and I now cast all my fears aside! Amen!"
I walked to the baggage claim after we landed, and there he was, hiding in the corner. He looked different from his "blurry" photos but I knew that it was him! I walked straight up to him, said "Hello Robert," gave him a quick kiss, and said: "It's about time, huh?"
Then I just held him as he held me! No words needed to be spoken, for we'd waited two years for this moment and had said all that needed to be said over the phone, and in our letters.
He was a bit shy, but being the "tita" that I am his shyness didn't last too long. He bought me a dozen red roses which he left in the car because he was too "shame" to give it to me at first.
We went on our "first date" that evening! He took me to "Jack in the Box!" My choice of course! It was wonderful! We ate, held hands, talked and just enjoyed being with one another. Finally, after only hearing each other's voice and reading each other's words on paper for two years!
Robert and I have grown a lot since that day! We've had our share of love "spats" but we're still together!
THE DOWN SIDE
What were my
‘friends’ thinking?For those made nauseous by Valentine's Day, here is a contest entry that you may be able to relate to. We had no prize planned in this category but we're sending along a mini chocolate pyramid to Judy L. also, in hope that a little chocolate will make up for all her dating disappointments. We're keeping her last name confidential to avoid humiliating her dates.By Judy L.
Honorable mentionI have gone on several blind dates in the past year and a half. All the people who set me up with blind dates do so with good intentions. Some are quite discriminating and would go out of their way to find me some good candidates. Others, however, would set me up with guys they generally felt sorry for.
I have come to conclude that there are basically three categories of men.
First, there are the good-looking, educated, ambitious, successful and adventurous ones. Outwardly, they seem attractive. But once you meet them, you realize that they are the most selfish, egotistical breed of them all.
Second, there is the decent, normal, down-to-earth type. Men of this category are either already married or are gay.
Finally, the third category comprises the social misfits of the world. They have no sense of etiquette, they are obnoxious and they are totally oblivious to their own shortcomings. They are definitely single for a reason.
I couldn't bring myself to write about just one blind date when I have so many "memorable" ones to share. Here are the highlights of the blind dates I've been on:
One guy invited me to lunch. We went to a Vietnamese restaurant that only accepted cash as payment. When the bill came, he just sat there.
I ended up taking the bill to the cash register. When I opened my wallet, I realized that I only had $2 in bills and some loose change. The waitress let me pay by check. When I returned to the table, this guy didn't even offer to leave the tip. I had to leave the $2 and whatever change I had on the table.
I've since stopped going on blind dates. I just couldn't handle the after-date-blues. It was too depressing.
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The authors of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series are seeking stories to include in a new book, "Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul."
Stories should be an inspirational, emotional or humorous true account that helps readers discover basic principles they can apply to their own lives to uplift the spirit. Tales might recount the moment you first fell in love, the little things that keep a long-term relationship new, or the joy of falling in love later in life.
Submit stories by March 17 to: Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul, 3104 E. Camelback Road #531, Phoenix, AZ 85016. Or fax to 1-(602)-508-8912 or e-mail to chickensoup@home.com.
The piece should be 750 to 1200 words. A fee of $300 will be paid for one-time rights. Submit as many stories as you wish.
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