View Point
View Point
IT most certainly sounds cliché. It may even be a song, I'm not sure. But it is a profound truth with potential to improve our community and society -- one child, marriage and family at a time. What is this powerful truism and how can it vastly improve the state of the family as we move into a new millennium? Strengthening families
in the new century"Love is spelled T-I-M-E."
Someone once said the most surefire way to know our priorities in life is to examine how we spend our time and money. A glance at our checkbooks and daily calendars will tell the tale. What do we value, really value? How do we spend our time and money?
Granted, many people in Hawaii spend their time making money -- just to survive. These people need a better economy and higher paying jobs so they can have more time to spend with their families.
But let's face it. Many of us spend more time working to amass more things, i.e. better house, better car, new TV, stereo and on it goes. While there is nothing wrong with these things per se, at what price do they come? At the price of our marriages, our children and our families? Sadly, often they do.
So how can we improve our relationships with our spouses and children, strengthen the institutions of marriage and family, and improve our community and society? In a word, TIME. Very simply, we can commit to spend more of that "quality time" with our spouses and children.
So, as we reflect on new and recycled New Year's resolutions for this mother of all new years, I'd like to issue the Millenium Family Challenge. Would you consider the challenge with me?
Husbands and wives, will you recommit your lives to one another, for as long as you both shall live? Will you resolve to take TIME to spend with each other, to cherish each other and remember the things that brought you together at the start? Will you vow not to become just another divorce statistic, to persevere through the hard times by doing the sometimes hard work of marriage? Will you commit to a date-night -- away from the kids, the job, and the boob tube?
Will you talk to each other, really talk, once again? And will you value each day together as a gift? Remember, there may never be another day. There are no guarantees in this life. But you can lead by example through a strong, loving, committed marriage partnership. And if you've had a tough time of it in the past, there is no time like a new millennium for a fresh start.
PARENTS, will you resolve together to take TIME to spend talking, reading, playing and really connecting with your kids? As they grow older, will you help them rise above the barrage of destructive forces all around them seeking to pull them away from those values you hold dear?
Will you talk to them about avoiding tobacco, alcohol, drugs and pre-marital sexual activity? About being kind to one another, helping those who are less fortunate, and honoring their elders? Will you take the TIME to know their friends, to know what's happening in their lives? Will you be their parents, setting boundaries, really loving them unconditionally?
Applying the cliche is simple, but not easy.
Will you make it a priority in your family in the new millennium to spell love -- T-I-M-E?
And if your answer is yes, remember to periodically check your resolution progress by simple glancing at your checkbook and daily calendar.
Kelly M. Rosati is the executive director of the Hawaii Family Forum.