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Star-Bulletin Features

Wednesday, November 10, 1999

Star-Bulletin closing after 117 years

DeLima song
stars Bulletin

Mpeg Audio Clips


"Wat, Honolulu Star-Bulletin, You Going Leave Me Now?!" is among the comedy numbers included on Frank DeLima's latest album, "Frank DeLima Live at the Captain's Table."

The album, in CD and cassette, is scheduled to arrive in stores early next week. The Star-Bulletin song, set to the music of "Lucille," was being played on KSSK yesterday.

DeLima and musicians David Kauahikaua and Robert Nishida, recorded the song Oct. 2 during a nightclub show at the Captain's Table Lounge in the Hawaiian Waikiki Beach Hotel.

DeLima and his writing partner, Patrick Downes, reworked his popular parody of "Lucille" as a requiem for the Star-Bulletin after the shutdown of the paper was announced in September. Here are the lyrics :

Wat! Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
You Going Leave Me Now?!

Lyrics by Frank DeLima and Patrick Downes

In a barroom named Rocco's in east Kakaako, he staggered right up to the bar,
The evening edition, in soggy condition he held rolled up like a cigar,
He sat on the stool, like a crazy old fool and unrolled the newspaper flat,
I saw he was crying, but I'm not one for prying, so I stared as the teardrops went splat.
In what seemed like ages, he then turned the pages so reverently I dared not speak,
Then slowly and solemn, he took Diane Chang's column and wiped off a tear from his cheek,
He then finished reading, though his heart was still bleeding, and he looked like he'd rather be dead,
So full of dejection, he grabbed the A-section, and stared at the headline and said,

What Honolulu Star-Bulletin, you going leave me now?!
The natatorium not fixed yet, Bishop Estate not pau,
We get the Advertiser, but it no get Bud Smyser
What now, lau lau??
What Honolulu Star-Bulletin, you going leave me now?!

His face was so ragged, with edges so jagged, he looked like a Corky cartoon,
Without Dave Shapiro, his prospects were zero for making it much beyond noon,
Who'll do all the dissing, with Memminger missing, he groaned as he slumped all depressed,
In a world without Kwon, I won't know who won, until the next morning at best.
Suddenly bolder, he looked past his shoulder and said to the color TV,
You got all those news jocks, you got Leslie Wilcox, the hell if you ever get me!
He said, "What the heck, I'll show some respect, for those hundred and seventeen years!"
And loudly he cursed and then started the first of one hundred and seventeen beers, ... and said

What Honolulu Star-Bulletin, you going leave me now?!
The Rainbows started winning, Cayetano not pau,
To add to the stress, they killed the Sun Press
What now, lau lau??
What Honolulu Star-Bulletin, you going leave me now?!

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Paper's shutdown on hold

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