Rant & Rave

By Chad Wago

Tuesday, November 2, 1999

More times than not,
sex is just sex

SEX!!! Now is that an attention-getter or what? But seriously, it is a topic that I am going to talk about and the things I say may be offensive to some, a revelation to others. So anything I say beyond this point is not for the frivolous or easily offended. Beware, for you have been forewarned.

A few weeks ago, a friend (who DOES NOT go to Roosevelt) told me that she had sex with her new boyfriend. I was shocked. She is a freshman, only 14 years old.

Sexual intercourse may be something that happens often, and nowadays with increasing frequency, but it still came as a complete surprise. Perhaps I have led a life that is too sheltered, perhaps I am naive, but I do know this: sex doesn't necessarily equal love. So why do we all feel compelled to rut like weasels? That is what I am about to discuss.

There are the mistakes, you know, the experiences in which one or both parties were too drunk, stoned or otherwise mentally incapacitated to know better. These are the worst cases -- the ones in which two people are caught up in the situation, with no harm intended.

Too many of my friends have given it up to guys who could not give a rat's ass about love; those dudes just wanted some sweet loving and were willing to say anything to get it. It didn't mean much to them, just a fun activity.

Sounds a little harsh? Well, the truth often is. For guys at this stage in our life, almost everything revolves around sex. We think about it constantly, drop anything to get it, and do normally unthinkable acts when it seems achievable.

It may sound like I am painting all of guydom with a pretty wide brush, but if you'd like to dispute that statement, feel free to write in to the paper.

Not all guys who have had sex are tricking the girls into it. Many have thought they actually WERE in love with the girl.

LOVE -- now there's a tricky word. I do not doubt the fact that you may love your boy/girlfriend, but are you IN love with them? That's the million-dollar question. I have seen an enormous number of people throw around words like "love" and "hate" so easily that it totally cheapens their meaning to me whenever I hear one teenager declare undying love for another.

Too often, we confuse the terms "love" with "caring" and "hate" with "dislike." While I can't prove that you don't really love your significant other, let time tell the tale of true love.

You may, by now, be saying, "What the hell does he know? He just hasn't felt true love!"

Truth be told, I believe that I have. I have been in love with the same girl for the past three years, and she is the meaning of my life; so don't tell me that I haven't felt the sting of cupid's arrow.

How do I explain the prevalence of sexual activity nowadays? The entertainment industry!

I'm not talking about the TV programs or movies where sex is treated as no big thing and everyone is out doing it for fun -- they are fine. Most of the people who are doing it for fun would have sex regardless of those shows.

I am, however, against the songs, movies and shows that depict sex as the most important part of a loving relationship. Sex is NOT the be-all, end-all of every relationship, it is not the culmination of love.

Do you know why the movie "The Opposite of Sex" was titled thusly? That was how the main character thought of love. To be with the one you love and not feel the need to do the horizontal mambo until you pass out -- now that is what I call LOVE.

Chad Wago is a senior at Roosevelt High School

Rant & Rave is a Tuesday Star-Bulletin feature
allowing those 12 to 22 to serve up fresh perspectives.
Speak up by fax at 523-8509; by answering machine at 525-8666;
snail mail at P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu 96802;
or e-mail,

E-mail to Features Editor

Text Site Directory:
[News] [Business] [Features] [Sports] [Editorial] [Do It Electric!]
[Classified Ads] [Search] [Subscribe] [Info] [Letter to Editor]
[Stylebook] [Feedback]

© 1999 Honolulu Star-Bulletin