Rant & Rave
Rant & Rave
I believed that the few years I spend growing up in Kalihi were rough. I thought that the wannabe gangstas I encountered were frightening. Life’s tough on Waikiki’s
mean streetsAh, I must have been a wimpy kid. I realized that after I moved to Waikiki, in search of independence and inner growth, only to find Waikiki makes Kalihi look like Utopia.
This typical-day-in-Waikiki tale should explain everything.
Well ... yawn. Excuse me, I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately. The "clang, swoosh, crash, boom" of the trash heading down the garbage chute; the "cheehoo, yeeah" of the sidewalk booze guzzlers; and the "honk, honk, beeep" of the road ragers tend to keep me awake. I don't know why I just don't get used to the Waikiki "symphony" because it plays the ol' familiar tunes day and night.
On nice days, I hop on my bike and try to get some exercise. I head down Kalakaua Avenue, when "YOW!," a trolley tries to make a crepe out of me. So I head toward the Ala Wai Canal. There, the sights, sounds and definitely smells -- of car and tour bus exhaust, and the canal itself -- makes riding past the Honolulu Zoo pleasant in comparison.
EVENTUALLY, my roommate and I leave Waikiki to run an errand before returning to hell and encountering a moron in a car -- a Caucasian who called us "chinks" because he thought we'd cut him off. The only cut off I could see was the circulation to his brain.
With scores of drivers like that in Waikiki, it's a good thing there are packs of Hawaii's Finest on every street corner. There are so many cops, in fact, one wouldn't believe that mainland recruiters had been here to rob us of 42 percent of our force.
Why the hoard of cops in Waikiki? Well, somebody's got to stop the beatings, shootings, drug dealers, prostitutes and loiterers.
The day's activities make us hungry, so my roommate and I headed to a nearby restaurant, on foot this time. It was a mistake, again. After dining at quite a few Waikiki restaurants, I realize that vending machines rule. The machines provide better, faster service (press some buttons and, plunk, instant food); provide tastier food than what some Waikiki restaurants offer; and are a whole lot cheaper (60 cents for a Snickers bar).
WHILE walking home, tourists were bumping into me as if I were invisible. Man, tourists have zero class. They ... (gee, tourist numbers are plummeting; not good). What I mean to say is tourists are so ... classy. Yeah, that's it. I worship tourists who are so awed by the towering concrete that surrounds them, that they can't be bothered to be looking a foot ahead.
Next, we passed "artists" lining the sidewalks. There are those who bang on metal cans; those who scream, er, sing through loudspeakers; there's even a silver-painted woman who dresses like a rat and acts like a robot. Go figure.
What was that? Complaining too much? OK.
Waikiki Beach is nice. And ... whaddya know? I'm outta space and too tired to continue my rant.
Warren A. Kaneshiro is a sophomore at the University of Hawaii. Rant & Rave is a Tuesday Star-Bulletin feature
allowing those 12 to 22 to serve up fresh perspectives.
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