Changing Hawaii
MY kiddo teaches me a lot. This weekend, it was about the fiery topic of smoking. Since one of her summer-school assignments was to create an anti-puffing poster, she leafed through some old periodicals around the house in search of cigarette ads to clip out. Making smoking
look coolThe good news was she had a hard time finding them! How encouraging that such cancer-causing inducements are banned not only on TV, but are becoming increasingly rare finds in daily papers and magazines, too.
This dearth of Joe Camel cameos, however, was bad news for the kiddo's class assignment. So off we went to the nearest book behemoth, where we browsed its massive shelves of weeklies, monthlies and quarterlies -- until we spotted our quest.
The magazine was called Smoke. On its summer 1999 cover was sultry actress Ellen Barkin, who held a lit cigar to her pink-colored lips as the readouts shouted, "Life's Burning Desires," "Powerfully Sexy" and "Topless Beauties" (which, thankfully, turned out to be a feature on convertible cars).
The macho-oozing publication was geared toward male readers and not surprisingly so, since the cigar is a phallic symbol, isn't it?
Most of the ads featured pictures of cigars, showed pensive-looking males chomping on stogies as women gazed adoringly at their hunks, or showcased products especially for him, like men's watches.
Meanwhile, the stories examined topics like massage parlors, golf schools, professional boxing and the confessions of a Las Vegas show girl.
The majority of the issue, however, was devoted to a massive review of several boutique cigars. And the way these expert panelists described the various brands, good grief, they were practically orgasmic in nature:
LIKE I said, my kiddo teaches me a lot. Thanks to her summer-school assignment to create an anti-smoking poster, I learned three things:"Lingering and seductive."
1) There are plenty of products and advertising agencies attempting to glamorize what must certainly be an expensive, unhealthy and blatantly hedonistic habit, and they're making a lot of money in the process."Lingering and seductive." "Beefy and well-rolled." Gimme a break. Can you see my eyeballs rolling?
2) The state's $1.4 billion tobacco settlement, of which 25 percent will be used to fight smoking in the islands, is both necessary and desirable. Impressionable people, especially children, need to be reminded why these things are called cancer sticks.
3) When buying a new publication for your kiddo, always look through it first to make sure it is not inappropriate for the reader's age and maturity.My 13-year-old got to cut out the smoking ads she needed but not to keep the copy of Smoke magazine. Its cigar reviews were so hot, it ended up in the trash can.
Burn, baby, burn
Diane Yukihiro Chang's column runs Monday and Friday.
She can be reached by phone at 525-8607, via e-mail at
dchang@starbulletin.com, or by fax at 523-7863.