Changing Hawaii
DEAR Kathleen Fay of North Massapequa, N.Y.: According to your urgent e-mail message, you need some counsel -- wiki wiki! On June 5, your mom and stepdad, Deborah and John Logan, are scheduled to renew their wedding vows on the East Coast, after a memorable honeymoon in Waikiki and a decade of matrimony. Hawaii-style nuptials
made easyAnd they want to commemorate this momentous occasion in "island style."
"Since they can't afford to come back to Hawaii, they would like to renew their vows on one of our local beaches in Long Island, but with a Hawaiian theme," you wrote in online correspondence to the Star-Bulletin. "They don't want just grass skirts and tiki torches; they want to be remarried in Hawaiian tradition. Can you assist?"
Grass skirts and tiki torches? Kathy, Kathy, Kathy. I'd be happy and most honored to oblige.
First of all, my dear, you'd better brace yourself for this stunner: Most Hawaii residents -- and tourists, too -- get married here with nary a grass skirt or tiki torch in sight.
The majority of blushing island brides are dressed in white gowns and veils, while the grooms sport boring old tuxedos.
Some women do wear the traditional Hawaiian holoku, a loose-fitting white dress with long sleeves and a yoke above the bustline. This gown was created in the 1820s and was first worn by Hawaiian royalty, according to the latest issue of Hawaii Bride & Groom magazine.
Meanwhile, the groom and his ushers, if they want to go a bit more native, can opt for colorful sashes worn around their tummies instead of the usual staid cummerbunds.
To be a real Hawaiian wedding ceremony, though, there must be flowers. An overdose of flowers.
For the bride, a wreath called a haku is worn over the forehead instead of a veil. She should also have a delicate lei, maybe of pikake (white jasmine), ginger or roses, and she can tote a traditional hand bouquet, too.
For the groom, a green maile lei (ignore its uncanny resemblance to a scraggly bunch of green leaves) is a majestic touch, especially when interwoven with blossoms.
But the most important thing for a Hawaiian wedding, Kathy, is that the happy couple have aloha in their hearts. Just because the wedding party is on the other side of the country doesn't mean you can't enjoy a bona fide island ceremony, even if it is on a private beach called, ahem, Sore Thumb.
THE fact that your parents even wanted to get rehitched Hawaiian-style is significant and touching. It's a good omen that, one day, they will actually return to the islands to bring their marriage full circle.
Well, Kathy, those are pretty much the highlights of a local wedding, although we didn't even get into the folding of 1,001 origami cranes, the Filipino money dance or a Chinese lion entering to the sound of deafening drumbeats.
I'm mailing you the copy of Hawaii Bride & Groom magazine, so you can enjoy the glowing faces of newlyweds who often forget how lucky they are to say their vows in a locale most folks can only dream about.
P.S. Here's a way to inject island tradition and mischievous laughter into the reception: Whenever the guests clink on their glasses with their eating utensils, that's a signal for the bride and groom to kiss. At some parties, the clinking is unceasing and the couple must smooch throughout the night! Is this a great place or what?
Diane Yukihiro Chang's column runs Monday and Friday.
She can be reached by phone at 525-8607, via e-mail at
DianeChang@aol.com, or by fax at 523-7863.