The Goddess Speaks
THE long-awaited day had arrived. Easter, the day that signified the end of Lent, the end of my suffering. This was the third time I gave up chocolate for Lent, the 40-day period between Ash Wednesday and Easter, which, in Christian religions, calls for fasting or some other form of penitence. A sweet sacrifice
for heavens sakeThe first time I tried to give up chocolate, my downfall was a rocky road ice cream cone. The second time, my cousin, brother and friends took turns being my warden, blocking any contact with chocolate. With so many shepherds, I did not stray.
This time, I succeeded on my own but it wasn't easy. I have always been a chocoholic. The silky smooth sweetness could lift the lowest of spirits and heighten the most exuberant celebrations. It was one of the few things that could be enjoyed legally, in public, without limitation. But, I was also becoming a slave to the unassuming cacao seed's many processed forms.
At first, I could survive on just having chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner -- a chocolate-filled glazed doughnut to start the day, a Good News bar for lunch, and hot fudge sundae for dinner. Then, I needed to have it more frequently and soon, I was on a nonstop sugary roller coaster ride. I needed off, fast.
After failing at my first attempt to kick the habit, I enlisted my friends and family to help me. After successfully completing their task, my younger brother and younger cousin waved chocolate Easter eggs and candy bars in front of me at 12:01 Easter morning and I gorged myself, relishing the taste that I had to go without for so long.
This past Lenten season, I wanted to prove to myself that I could stop eating chocolate without others' help. I needed to know that I was in control of at least one aspect of my life. So, mind willing but mouth and stomach not, I kept saying no when people offered me chocolate. And, looking back, this must have been one of the most chocolate-abundant, temptation-filled Lenten seasons that I have gone through.
FIRST, several people filled my desktop candy dispenser with M&Ms and left packages of chocolate on my desk (not all of them knew I had given up chocolate for Lent). Another person left a message on my voice mail describing how delicious her hot fudge sundae was and that she wished I could have had some (she knew about my situation).
I attended two birthday parties where chocolate mousse cake was served. There seemed to be a chocolate pie at work almost every other week. And, I was asked to help judge the Star-Bulletin Chocolate Pie contest (see the results in tomorrow's paper). I declined.
Except for Christmas, I don't think I have ever been surrounded by so much chocolate. But, through it all, I survived. I did have a few stressful moments where I really "NEEDED" chocolate. And, as I sit here devouring my second Snicker's Easter egg, I realize I cannot take full credit for my accomplishment. Through all the temptation and teasing, I also got tons of support.
People are now asking whether I'll try again next year, cut back on chocolate permanently, or eliminate chocolate from my life. But I don't feel the need to do something this drastic. Forty days of sacrifice was tough enough. Try it.
Michelle Ramos is Administrative Editorial
Assistant for the Star-Bulletin.
The Goddess Speaks runs every Tuesday
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