Hawaiian Time

By Dalton Tanonaka

Friday, January 22, 1999

In a perfect dream world

Things are going perfect when the auto mechanic tells you that all your car needed was "a minor adjustment so there's no charge." And then he buys you lunch.

You know it would make your day, but are pretty sure that day won't come.

But wouldn't it be nice if that spit roaster gizmo you ordered after watching the TV infomercial really worked? And that Neiman Marcus actually sold something you could afford?

A perfect world may not be everyone's dream, but I'd lay still and close my eyes for a couple of hours to see if that's what sleep could conjure up.

In a perfect world:

bullet The Ala Wai Canal would be a vital part of our city, clean and alive and a promenade fun for nighttime visitors.

bullet The item you went to the store to buy is never "out of stock."

bullet There'd be more locally produced TV programs, from children's shows to comedies to soaps. Why can't we see what Hawaii looks like on our own airwaves?

bullet Preserving fruit is what comes to mind when you say "impeachment."

bullet The Young Rascals stage their comeback concert at the former HIC Arena (that's the Blaisdell to you youngsters), with Linda Green and the Tempos as the opening act.

bullet You can actually hear the audio from an inflight movie.

bullet More people would have four-day workweeks to tip the balance a bit more toward exploring life.

bullet You actually convince your wife that geckos are good to have around the house.

bullet Political leaders run for office for the right reasons.

bullet More restaurants feel like home, as in the days of the old Columbia Inn with owner Tosh Kaneshiro at the door, and like at his present-day successor Roy Shimonishi's Hungry Lion.

bullet No one ever sits in the seat in front of you at the movie theater.

bullet Waikiki again becomes an attractive place for locals, with a variety of live music venues and dance clubs.

bullet There's always enough meat or fish in your laulau.

bullet The ink never comes off this newspaper to blacken your fingers.

bullet Families can survive on one income so mom or dad can spend more time with the kids.

bullet No one ever needs Viagra.

bullet Your disposable wooden chopsticks always split apart evenly, never leaving you to have to take a stab at lunch.

bullet You're holding your father's or mother's hand, and get to say "I love you" one more time as they pass from this world painlessly.

bullet Diapers never leak onto your shirt when you're miles from home, and pens never run dry when you need to write down that important number.

bullet You always have the correct change.

bullet High schools bring back pep squad songleaders, with the big carnation leis and white gloves.

bullet Bette Midler re-embraces her Hawaii roots, and does a benefit Honolulu concert for the needy.

bullet The University of Hawaii becomes synonymous with having a world-class ______ (fill in the blank).

bullet Americans know as much about the rest of the world as the rest of the world knows about America.

bullet Babies are never abused.

bullet The cliffside trail to surf off Diamond Head is just a little bit easier to climb up and down.

bullet The gun of former Honolulu resident Mark Chapman misfires and Beatle John Lennon lives on.

What a dream.

Dalton Tanonaka is a veteran print and broadcast
journalist who's worked in Hong Kong, Japan, the
mainland and Hawaii. He can be reached by
e-mail at tanonaka@aol.com

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