See you turnips in
By Jovita Zimmerman
the pumpkin patchTHE realization that one cannot turn a pumpkin or a cabbage into a rose prompts this response to your invitation to play the game. Fine! I'm with you.
Some women turn 70 or 80 still wanting to maintain that they are immune to aging. They continue the self-myth that the world is at their feet and that they are at the center of the universe, if not the universe themselves.
When you are close to living over half a century, you have to learn how to study the geriatric set. Listen to how they talk or refuse to yield the floor to anybody. Self-infatuation? Maybe.
Watch how they cling to clothes which project youthfulness, or try hiding the bulges that even expensive girdles fail to cover. If you are realistic, you learn how to cope with the fact that essentially you are comparable to an old house. The roof is leaking or about to cave in.
Aha, the mind cheats and you will try applying psuedo psychology, convincing yourself that even as your body betrays you, your mind is working at a higher intellectual level. Never mind the mental lapses. You might humor yourself into thinking that even a teen-ager forgets his home-work or his or her good manners.
The ancient structure you might call yourself has its hinges constantly creaking; a few windows won't open or close. There are signs the floor is sinking, or the foundation is about to crumble dangerously. So ... bowed and decrepit, you accept the fact that a race is on and you are going to win or learn how to ride the waves which promise to drown you because it's too late to know how to surf.
Cheating might do. You buy all that propaganda about Retin-A, or retinol to rub away the wrinkles. You put on makeup which can transform you into a Cleopatra clone. You might touch up your salt-and-pepper crown of glory and become a red head ... something I don't have the courage to do. Or, do it subtly. A pat here, a pat there, to create an illusion of beauty, rather than a copy. Voila, you're beginning to like yourself again. You might even earn a wink or a compliment from your male roommate.
IF you find the tendency to become reclusive is hard to shake off, fight it by buying a computer. Venture into the Internet; e-mail or write a family book, whatever suits your mood. Reach out by helping, and don't allow your adrenalin to lead you into conflictful or confrontational situations. Fate is not always willful or unkind. It might reward you with grandchildren, easier to love than your own offspring because the gremlins took over between the ages of 13 and 19.
Of course you will need medical help eventually. If he or she is the holistic type the good doctor will convince you to avoid radicals (cakes, ice cream, chocolates, etc.) and eat only what's anti-oxidant. High fibers might make you gaseous. Low fat or nonfat foods are tasteless. You will pretend a dab of butter will not add to your cholesterol. In any case, forget what you love to eat. You may have to depend on food supplements such as Glucosomine.
A female psychologist friend of mine says the column, "The Goddess Speaks" reflects what an author claims. Women, he says, have goddess attributes. He lists exquisite femininity, a beautiful face and superb physique (for some, of course), a superb intellect and graceful body movements. Hang on, young ladies if you are among the fortunate. But don't take yourself too seriously. Remember, live long, and you too can turn into a cabbage, a pumpkin or a pear.
What I have tried communicating is only a portion of the story, but who wants to know more? Amen.
Jovita Zimmerman is an author and retired educator.
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