Holiday myth
By Stephen Lehman
gives no reason
for merriment
I used to believe in Santa. I really did. I was one of those kids who set out the sugar cookies for Santa every Christmas. That was before I uncovered "the lie."I look back on my childhood and think, "I was really naive then."
Now my views of the jolly man in red have broadened. How does he know whether we're good or bad? Does he sit above our windows? Does he have a wire tap on our phones so he can listen in on our conversations?
What about his thoughts? Is he some sort of telepath? And what's with this overrated idea that if we are bad, we'll get a lump of coal for Christmas? Cold people would consider that a great present.
I believe that if there really is a Santa, he's just a sad, old deranged man with severe psychiatric problems. I also believe that he is tempting us into a life of crime by giving us worldly pleasures on a platter -- actually, in a stocking -- and increasing our lust for material possessions.
Wouldn't that make him a criminal also? Trying to steer young minds toward easy gains.
I wonder about all those midnight deliveries. How is it possible for one man to deliver presents to everyone in the world in one night? What happens if Santa gets sick? If not, what does he eat to maintain his immune system?
I imagine that if Santa does exist, he must have major arthritis due to making toys for everyone in the world.
WHAT I don't understand is why parents try to impose such an outrageous myth on young, impressionable minds, on the one hand, while sending the mixed message of always telling the truth. Don't adults realize that by keeping up the Santa charade they are not reinforcing a lie, but also teaching children to believe in a false god?
Heh, I think parents are weird anyway. It seems that most of them actually believe in Santa Claus, while we know better.
Where did the idea of Santa come from? Did some crazy old man stay up all night and make toys to give to children? What made him feel that he had an obligation to give toys to every kid that lived around him? Did he have some sort of deficiency problem?
The world may never know. But I bet that the children were happy.
I'm sorry if I challenged your view of Santa, but this is one of my favorite Christmas traditions: debating, asking too many Santa questions (like, what's his name?) and making a pest of myself until I become barely tolerable.
I tend to do that pretty well, don't I?
Stephen Lehman attended Kahuku High and Intermediate
School before moving to Virginia, where he is a sophomore
at Woodbridge Senior High School.
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