WE take for granted that we live in paradise, and while a restaurant like Cheeseburger in Paradise helps to remind us how lucky we are, that's about all it's good for. ‘Cheeseburger’
loses sight of paradiseGranted, when the original Cheeseburger in Paradise opened in 1989 courtesy two former California women on touristy Front Street, Lahaina, it was an instant hit. It grossed $2.3 million that year, and last year, sales reached $6 million. The newest Cheeseburger in Waikiki may do very well with tourists, but on Oahu, we've got our favorite burgers and this Cheeseburger is not likely to win many converts.
The restaurant successfully recreates a touch of Lahaina amidst concrete and asphalt. This is paradise circa 1940, with millennial touches like faux bamboo table tops. Otherwise, walls look like they're draped in lauhala mats, there are bamboo posts and railings, and Hawaiian kitsch and collectibles line one wall.
The menu, too, serves up a bit of exotica, different enough to cater to a visitor's sense of discovery, but not so strange as to scare. There's no poke or sashimi but there is Chinese Chicken Salad ($10.95), a giant helping of lettuce topped by grilled chicken breast, pot stickers filled with potato and onions, and won ton strips, all with a sweetened "Oriental" dressing.DESPITE its Maui heritage, an Upcountry Salad ($6.95) sadly comprises little more than the standard iceberg lettuce with tomatoes and sliced mushrooms. I was expecting a true Upcountry mix of tender baby greens such as arugula, mizuna and frisee. Darn.
To make a meal of the salad, you can add the likes of shrimp ($4.50), a scoop of tuna or chicken salad ($3), or Cajun Chicken ($3). The chicken was cold in both flavor and temperature. The salads seemed to have been pulled ready-made from a refrigerator because everything was cold, even the pot stickers on the Chinese Chicken Salad. Bleeech.
Side dishes go straight from the freezer to the deep fryer, such as onion rings ($4.50), cheese fries ($4.95) and a calamari and scallop combo ($6.50).
Your best bets for sandwiches will be the Fresh Fish (market price, when I visited, they were serving a juicy mahi fillet) or namesake Cheeseburger in Paradise ($6.95), a thick, well-textured patty cooked to a Health Department-sanctioned medium. As for the cheese, choose from the house blend of jack and cheddar or a thick slice of aged Swiss.
Chicken was dry in a Philly-style ($7.95) sandwich with green and red bell peppers, onions and two cheeses. The patty in the Tofu Burger ($6.95) was exceptionally bland with the squishy texture of scrambled eggs.
The Portuguese Turkey Burger ($9.95) marks a return to the world of the tasting, with a spiced turkey patty topped with Red Provencal Sauce -- a lumpy dice of tomatoes sauteed with herbs, served slightly chilled.
After all I endured, it was not the food I minded so much as the mind set. From the menu to the nonchalant service, it seemed there was no effort to convey the least bit of aloha. It's not something I shop for as a resident, but when it's missing, it's obvious.
A sign above the restaurant door reads, "Paradise is a state of mind." Indeed, Cheeseburgers in Paradise leaves too much to the customer's imagination.
Hours: 8 a.m. to midnight daily
Prices: About $20 to $30 for two without drinks
Call: 923-3731
Nadine Kam's restaurant reviews run on Thursdays. Reviews are conducted anonymously and paid for by the Star-Bulletin. Star ratings are based on comparisons of similar restaurants:
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