Cher was billed as the newest member of this international organization. Her advice echoed the experience of many parents at the reception and met with cheers of acknowledgment. This belief has been voiced many times before, in many different ways, but this was the first time the members heard these words from such a famous mother.
The day after this surprise reception, the conference continued a weekend of workshops and presentations for family members of PFLAG. This year's theme, Love Takes Action, is a daily one for PFLAG members as they respond to negative stereotypes held by many in today's society. PFLAG works continuously in 425 chapters around the United States to support justice and compassion in our communities.
PFLAG was founded in 1981 out of the pain and anger of one family over the brutal hate crime against their gay son. Today, this grassroots organization represents more than 65,000 families and is growing daily as families reach out for help in understanding their gay family members.
Locally, PFLAG was started by Fred Methered in the early 1980s and revived in the late '80s by Sally McIntosh. The third beginning in October 1995 was born out of a need to have a local support group for parents, families and friends when a family member "comes out" of the closet.
My "coming out" as a parent of a gay son took place on the steps of the Campus Center during the 1995 National Coming Out Day Activities at the University of Hawaii-Manoa. I had to overcome the fear of rejection before I could hand out the announcements for an organizational meeting of PFLAG. From that stressful experience was born PFLAG Oahu. Only my love for my son could have inspired and motivated me to face the hate and discrimination of our society.
Since then, I have testified at the state House of Representatives and Senate about my precious gift from the creator, my gay son. Now, I speak any time and any place to help change policies and affect attitudes in order to create a safe, healthy environment that is respectful of diversity. My silence has been broken because I believe this is the only way that society will change. Each one of us has to find a place where we can stand up and be counted for justice in our country for all citizens. Our voices as parents are of utmost importance.
Cher echoed this belief when she said, "When we break down our prejudice for our children, we break down prejudice for everyone else." This is what we do when we stand up for our children and friends. This is what social justice is all about. There is only one Cher, but there are many of us who want a world free from discrimination, hate crimes and anything else that keeps our children in closets.
This homophobia is also the root of a growing number of teen suicides. Early surveys reported that over one-third of all teen suicides can be traced to doubts of sexual orientation. More recent reports reflect an even larger percentage. This has to stop.
Before the PFLAG conference, I never thought of Cher as a social worker or equal rights advocate. But that night, she was working for change because of her love for her daughter. Sometimes her words evoked laughter, like when she talked about her reaction to the news about her daughter. She said, "I had a very un-Cher-like reaction to finding out that Chas was gay. I mean, I thought I was cool, but I wasn't."
There were heads nodding at Cher's words because they could relate to her experience. She has made the transition to a truly super cool PFLAG Mom. Welcome aboard, Cher!