StarBulletin.com

Parents' triple tragedy informs plea for civil unions law


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POSTED: Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Editor's note: Al and Jane Nakatani wrote this letter to Gov. Linda Lingle. Their story was told in the book “;Honor Thy Children”;; they are now largely retired on Maui after advocating for years on behalf of the GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender) community.

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Aloha, Gov. Linda Lingle.

In the days ahead, you will, among other important matters to consider as governor of the state of Hawaii, be studying, reviewing and coming to a decision as to whether the people of the state deserve a law that will enable same-sex and opposite-sex couples to receive the same rights, benefits and privileges afforded to married couples.

With its passage into law, it would say to all of Hawaii's citizens, and to the visitors who come to grace and experience the spirit of aloha, that kindness, compassion and inclusion are alive and well in Hawaii.

In addition to bringing the first of many changes in the way our same-sex communities are perceived and treated, the law would serve as a symbol to our children and young people who are growing up gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) that says there is a road map for them, one that promises that they, too, can find happiness, stability and love someday in their futures.

Perhaps one day, our GLBT children and youth will not find it necessary to deny, hide and/or destroy the very essence of their humanity. Perhaps we can help them pursue life, liberty and happiness as well, all within the context of health and wellness.

On a personal note, we would like to share with you the fact that we had three sons, all of whom died in their 20s. Two of our sons grew up gay while the other was not. Our two gay sons died from complications due to AIDS. The other was shot to death due to a physical altercation. All three were marginalized from early on in their young lives, and feeling less than whole, engaged in high-risk behaviors that contributed to their deaths.

While our family story is much too complex to delve into here, let us simply say that we, as parents, and the world we were part of, did not provide safe passage for families like ours — but that also, when searching for help, none that was appropriate to our needs existed.

Finally, we thank you for taking the time to read and process our message and hope that you will feel that the civil unions bill is both morally and legally sound and worthy of your signature.

Mahalo,

Al and Jane Nakatani