My space, my 'things'; in your face, Facebook!


POSTED: Monday, February 02, 2009

If by some odd circumstance you're not among the estimated 150 million active users on the social networking site Facebook.com, then you might be unaware of the occasional “;tags”; that permeate its cyber-ecosystem, a kind of mix between chain letters and truth-or-dare exercises. One such recent juggernaut is called “;25 things,”; and like most its rules are quite clear: “;Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.”;

Fine. OK. I signed up with a user name and password, I understand the social contract. But nobody said Facebook had exclusive first rights to this highly in-demand information. So here, for Digital Slobs everywhere, is a sneak peek at my upcoming Facebook assignment:

1) When I watch “;The Real Housewives of Atlanta,”; I can't help wondering how many cameras I would need trained on me before I felt compelled to bless the world with my fashion line/hip-hop career/celebrity bachelor auction.

2) In three years I've bought more iPods than pairs of shoes.

3) Every year since 1998, I've confused Super Bowl Sunday with Thanksgiving and camped outside Best Buy the next day hoping for deals on electronics.

4) I am definitely not man enough for Beyonce.

5) I once got thrown out of a Sizzler for playing avalanche with Tater Tots on the sneeze guard of the salad bar.

6) Because I hate homework, I suspect I'll complete only 15 or 16 out of the required 25 entries on this list.

7) I remain glued to “;Lost”; this season primarily in the hope that it'll teach me how to travel back in time so I cannot watch “;Lost.”;

8) Though I have an iPhone that can be programmed to wake me up 43,000 ways, I still rely on a $5 alarm clock I bought as a college freshman.

9) I suffer from stimulus-plan myopia—I have no idea whether President Obama's economic-recovery strategy is too deep or too shallow. I think he should appoint an ophthalmologist to his Cabinet.

10) When I heard the pope was going to have a YouTube channel, I must confess the first picture that popped in my head was “;Pope Attacks Laser Printer.”;

11) I love broadband Internet, especially when times are bad. Helping my friend look for work, I was able to tell him 150 times faster than with dial-up that no one was hiring.

12) I fear the 21st century is turning journalism on its head. Shouldn't CNN run 23 hours of objective news with maybe a one-hour show “;All Bias, All Bull”;?

13) I enjoy “;Andy Griffith”; reruns, and they've shaped my view of the world. For one, I'm convinced everyone from Raleigh is up to no good.

14) Sometimes I take the bus to work solely to practice avoiding eye contact.

15) My retirement plan hinges on the Acme Vending guys not noticing that the Twix bars in my office cost only 65 cents, even though the machine says they cost 75 cents.

16) My life is half over, and I have no idea where it's going. Until I do, I'll keep logging into Facebook and await further instructions.


Reach Star-Bulletin columnist Curt Brandao and subscribe to the free “;digitalslobpod”; podcast at digitalslob.com.