StarBulletin.com

Go! punctuates a bad airline business idea


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POSTED: Thursday, December 18, 2008

There is something quite evil about go! airlines trying to buy the right to brand its planes Aloha, the Hawaii airline it was chiefly responsible for forcing out of business. On the other hand, maybe this is a new corporate gambit that will “;save”; good old American companies like GM, Ford and Chrysler.

First some background on go! and its insidious plot to convince island residents that the venerable Aloha will fly again.

Let me say upfront that I was never fond of go! - mainly for punctuation reasons. I don't like exclamation points, period. But I like periods! See how stupid that looks. Exclamation points are like a poke in the ribs. This is exciting! Poke! Poke! Get it?

I especially don't think exclamation points belong in corporate names. It makes companies look goofy and a bit on the shifty side, like they are trying too hard to be liked. I wouldn't trust a gas company named Exxon! or a store called Wal-Mart! I looked at the list of Fortune 500 largest companies in the world, and not one had an exclamation point. I heard, however, that China National Offshore Oil (No. 409) was considering changing its name to China National Offshore Oil wink but directors decided that was too cute. The only company that uses an exclamation point is Yahoo! and that company's stock has fallen so far that the exclamation point seems to express alarm, not excitement.

I also don't like the way go! uses a lower-case “;g”; in its name. It's just annoying and looks particularly stupid in the middle of headlines. I suspect that is really why go! wants to become Aloha.

A federal bankruptcy judge is angry that go! would try to become Aloha in name only, considering all the people whose lives were hurt when Aloha shut down. My neighbor was one. I remember how upset she was at being laid off and can imagine how she'd feel to see Aloha flying again with none of the “;real”; employees aboard. It's sort of like the Mafia burning down a well-known restaurant, then opening one next door with the same name but a completely different staff. (Momma's Home-Cooking Kitchen - 200 Years in Business!)

If go! wins the Aloha name in bankruptcy proceedings, some cynics might see it as a model way to rescue failing automakers. Toyota and Mercedes-Benz could just wait for Chrysler, Ford or GM to go bankrupt and then buy their names. Voila! The Big Three are still there! (Sorry. I got overwhelmed.)

Renault-Nissan apparently is trying to buy a stake in Chrysler. How dumb is that? Sure, they get to use the name, but they have to keep those thousands of bothersome employees. Why not wait for Chrysler to go under and simply snap up the brand name for a song? Maybe Renault-Nissan has another cutting-edge business plan in mind. Maybe one day we'll see a car company named Renault-Nissan-Chrysler-Toyota-Mercedes-Ford-GM!