Rant & Rave

Tuesday, October 7, 1997

Boys are from Mars,
girls are from Venus

By Emily Lee

HAVE you ever wondered why boys are so different from girls? Or why boys act so differently in front of girlfriends or other girls?

For example, you are having a great time talking with your boyfriend. All of a sudden, his friends show up and he starts to treat you differently, acting mean to you. Wouldn't you be confused? Doesn't that sound familiar to you?

Girls would never behave that way. Of course, there may be some similarities between girls and boys, but only a few.

Girls and boys are different because they think differently. Boys are generally assumed to be leaders, an assumption passed down through the generations.

"Guys are the ones expected to make the decisions. And it better be the right decision!" said a boy named Keith, 17, in an issue of Teen magazine.

Boys are not as attentive as girls. Girls are more careful about little things. For example, when a couple is going to a prom, the girl has much more to worry about than the boy.

Girls worry about what dress they should wear, what to do with their hair, where to get their hair done, what kind of makeup they should put on and what color of nail polish to wear.

Boys simply put on a tux and they're ready.

Girls are not as aggressive as boys. Boys are more interested in sports. Whenever boys get together, they always talk about sports like basketball or football. They talk about which team won or how exciting the game was. They never talk about girls because they want to look "bad" and cool in front of their friends.

"I act like I don't care about girls in front of my friends because I don't want to get teased," said Joey Liao, a junior at Kaiser High.

Girls like to share their feelings with each other and talk about boys. According to Staci Lin, another student from Kaiser, "I talk about boys in my classes because all my friends like to. I think talking about boys is fun and cool."

Girls are most likely to ask questions like, "Why didn't he call me today?"

Girls share all their thoughts with their pals, but boys keep these questions to themselves. Boys keep their feelings and thoughts inside, which is the main reason you'll most often find them in big groups, because that is where they feel most comfortable. There is safety in numbers because less intimacy means less demand for the sharing of feelings.

JOEL Milgram, a professor of education at the University of Cincinnati, also said in Teen, "Guys need to maintain what they regard as male characteristics. They might feel that spending too much time with a girl, they'll begin losing some of their 'maleness.' "

They can't tell their friends how obsessed they are with a girl or how a girl that they met was so cute, because boys don't do that. They don't share their true feelings.

Jared Weldon, 21, said in Teen, "Guys are more logical. They think things out before they bust out with all of their emotions.

"Girls express their feelings as they're having them. We tend to hold our feelings back so we can evaluate the situation," he said.

"It's because we're scared of looking like idiots, basically," said William Coleman, 20, in About You magazine.

"Eventually, we come across that one girl who won't stand for our inability to communicate, and that's a good thing because we should be made aware if we're holding back.

"It's just really hard to open up to anyone, whether you're a guy or a girl."

Emily Lee is a senior at Kaiser High School.

Rant & Rave is a Tuesday Star-Bulletin feature
allowing those 12 to 22 to serve up fresh perspectives.
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