By Dave Donnelly

Tuesday, May 6, 1997

Keali'i Reichel, FrankDeLima

Cluck, cluck:
Burger for colonel

PEOPLE lunching at the Plaza Club last week tried to look casual when Colonel Sanders came in for a bite. Well, it wasn't the actual Colonel Sanders, but a dead ringer named John Baxley, in town to film a commercial for KFC Hawaii the next day. The spot involves talking and singing cows that are extremely happy the Colonel does chicken and not burgers. But when the white-bearded Baxley asked his waiter for a cheeseburger, everyone cracked up, including KFC marketing manager Robin Martin. When the burger arrived, the colonel said with a twinkle in his eye, "I hope the cows don't find out about this tomorrow." Some of the town's movers and shakers at nearby tables were trying to keep their amusement to themselves as they cast glances in the direction of the turncoat colonel. ...

THE above reminds me of the "Mad About You" episode where Jamie, the character played by Helen Hunt, tells her husband she can't eat veal because of how calves are killed. Paul Reiser replies, "Do you think they take chickens dancing?" ... That takes us to the Honolulu Jaycees' 50th State Fair, whose pre-sale tickets include a $3 coupon redeemable for KFC. Among the new features at the fair, we're told, is "a zoo of endangered animals." Chickens, perhaps? Or another of the new acts: Diving mules? Anyway, the fair gets underway May 23 and runs through June 15 at Aloha Stadium. And while President Bill Clinton was invited to attend, he had to decline -- probably taking a fried chicken break -- but is being represented on Memorial Day weekend by the President Clinton Navy Marching Band ...

IF you missed the sold-out performances of the Castle Performing Arts Center's excellent production of "South Pacific," you have one more chance. It's being held over for one performance only on Friday ... And Manoa Valley Theatre also is holding over its show, "Angels in America," May 15-18 ...

Tigress Woods

SHE was once one of Honolulu's top models, but now Stephanie Woods is on the warpath against domestic violence and rape. Back in town to visit her old modeling school mentor, Gypsy Norton, Woods has put her UH master's degree in counseling to good use. For the past 12 years she has headed a Sarasota, Fla., organization called Safe Place & Rape Crisis Center, and has 33 staffers working for her. Also in Sarasota and operating a shelter for battered women is Gay Zuercher, who was an image consultant in Honolulu before moving to the mainland. Woods used to dance for Norton in performing troupes the latter took to the Persian Gulf. Norton, in fact, still stages such shows and says Polynesian music and dance is popular there. And Woods reports she often runs into another displaced isle resident, Guido Salmaggi, in Sarasota, where his wife keeps a home ...

POLYNESIAN music also is popular in Florida. Isle expatriate, Bob Sandla, forwards a newspaper report of a group there called Prince Pele's Polynesian Revue, led by a Waipahu man named Bles Fuato. Quips Sandla, "I like to call him 'The Artist Now Known As Prince, Previously Known as Bles Fuato.'" ...

IOLANI School got a surprise on Lei Day when Keali'i Reichel sang as the May Day Court danced. Student activities director Matt Suzuki managed to keep the appearance a secret. Reichel performed his rendition of the Beatles' "In My Life" and advised the kids, "Always remember where you come from." ...

Sis, boom, bah Humbug!

IT came out at the 35th anniversary luau at Damien High School Sunday -- one of the school's first cheerleaders was Frank DeLima when he was a seminarian studying there and long before he became a comic headliner and annual star of "Scrooge" at Christmastime. Some 700 Damien supporters attended the luau -- revived after a 10-year hiatus -- which featured entertainment by DeLima, Glenn Medeiros, Loyal Garner, Martin Pahinui and the Kevin Mau Band. DeLima was a member of the Class of '67 ...

Dave Donnelly has been writing on happenings
in Hawaii for the Star-Bulletin since 1968.
His columns run Monday through Friday.

Contact Dave by e-mail: donnelly@kestrok.com.

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