By Dave Donnelly
Monday, November 18, 1996
Jeff Portnoy, Russ Francis
Jeff Portnoy, Russ Francis
SO there was Hawaii Yacht Club bartender Mike Kelly, finished with work and deciding to stop by a 7-Eleven store to pick up a six-pack of beer. He selected a six pack and no sooner was headed for the counter than a couple of crooks ran in to rob the place, ordering everyone to the floor. Kelly, no dummy, hit the deck, the six-pack still cradled in his arms. The robbery completed, the thieves left and the cops arrived to interview the clerk and those still in the store. After they'd left and Kelly took his six-pack to the counter the clerk said, "Sorry, no beer sales after 11:45." He replaced the beer and stopped by Monterey Bay Canners, feeling he could use a beer immediately, only to be told by the bartender, "Sorry, but the register's already closed." Kelly dejectedly headed for home ... Bartender 86’d
drinking plansSPEAKING of bartenders, Bono, the diminutive thirst slaker at O'Toole's Irish Pub showed up for work with a shiner yesterday. Reluctant to admit he hurried to pull open a cab door in the rain and hit his eye with it, he put on a false bravado and deadpanned, "You should see the other guy." ...
HERE comes the McBride: PGA golf pro Phil Mickelson scored an ace at Wailea on Maui Saturday - he took unto himself a bride. A "McBride," in fact. The second leading money-winner on the PGA tour and only four time winner this year, married Amy McBride. One observer termed it his best score yet xxx It may have taken some tugging, but Young Brothers' Kent Whitman and Sheraton public relations honcho B.J. Hughes have set a wedding date for Dec. 26. And local real estate wheeler-dealer Ed Reinhart and Kathy Fu agreed on a Feb. 15 trip to the altar. Why the day after Valentine's Day? Quipped Rinehart, "Roses should be cheaper that day." (He was just kidding, folks.) ...
THE long-planned roast of attorney Jeff Portnoy went off on schedule Friday night, but it turned out to be a surprise that on the same day the Hawaii Supreme Court ruled in his favor on a case he'd been arguing for well over three years. It was on behalf of the Society of Professional Journalists concerning the public's right to gather information on government employees, including police officers who've long enjoyed anonymity when disciplined. The roast at the Hawaiian Regent drew about 300 people who paid $100 each to hear Portnoy skewered in a mock trial, the barbs no doubt easier to take after hearing the landmark court decision earlier in the day. The roast took the form of a one-act play set in a courtroom and a big hit was Judge Martin Pence who played the bailiff, introducing the mock judge with the Sammy Davis Jr. riff, "Here come da judge, here come da judge, order in the courtroom, here come da judge." The attorneys in the audience, of which there were many, couldn't believe their eyes or ears. The roast was a benefit for Manoa Valley Theater where Portnoy headed the board of directors for the past 16 years before stepping down ... No Portnoy Complaints
WRITER Peter Matthiessen ("The Snow Leopard") was the latest in the Visiting Artist Program at Lanai's Lodge at Koele Saturday, and then set off to visit poet W.S. Merwin, who lives in the islands. Next up in the Lanai program is Marlin Fitzwater, former press secretary for Presidents Reagan and Bush. He'll speak Dec. 7 ...
FORMER NFL All-Pro tight end Russ Francis has always been known as something of a daredevil. He risked life and limb for years tangling with huge defensive linemen. He went in for sky-diving in a big way and even parachuted off the famous El Capitan. He rode motorcycles across country at absurd speeds, flew his own airplane and generally tossed caution to the winds. Now he sits in an office at KGMB-TV and reports on sports, a more sedentary lifestyle than that to which he'd become accustomed. So why is he now in the hospital? Simple, he tripped on a cable at the station, hit his head on a table and suffered a concussion ... All world klutz
