Honolulu Lite

by Charles Memminger

Monday, November 11, 1996


You need a big bowl
for this alphabet soup

I'd like a word with you. A really long word. In fact, the longest word in the English language. You'll find it down below, all 1,909 letters.

Now, I know what you're thinking: I just stuck the longest word in the English language in this column because I'm lazy and was just looking for an easy way to fill this space. That hurts. I'm not saying you're wrong. But it still hurts.

I came across the longest word in the English language in a book that just came out called "The Top 10 of Everything in 1997" by Russell Ash. It's a cool book, even though someone pulled Mr. Ash's leg and convinced him that Guam is actually a country. For instance, Guam is eighth on the list of 10 Countries with the Highest Crime Rates list, right between Denmark and Gibraltar.

The book is packed with little known facts. Like the country with the most daily newspapers (India, 2,300); country with the lowest proportion of farmers (Singapore); top radio-owning country (U.S.). Peculiarly, Guam was listed as the second top radio-owning country.

The language section seems pretty solid. It says Chinese Mandarin is the world's most widely spoken language. Not too surprising, considering there are heaps of Chinese and they've got to be talking about something.

The longest English word is the scientific name for a protein enzyme. It has appeared in print only a few times. It's probably never appeared in a daily newspaper, even in India, so we are making history here.

And so without any further ado, I proudly present:

Methionylglutaninylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanylyallythreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolylleucelalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminylasparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucyalanylleucylisoleucylarginylgutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucylglycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalylphenylalanylasparaginyllysysglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysysvalylglycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanylarginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginy(WALDO)lvalylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglyclyvalylthreonylglycylalanylglutamylasparaginyalrginylanylalanylleucylprolylleucylaspaaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylglutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucylglutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanylglycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanylisoleucylbalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylgutaminylprolylmethionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine.

Look, I know some of you cheated and didn't actually read the entire word. So I'll tell you a secret. hidden somewhere in there is a surprise guest word. If you take your time, you'll find it.



Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite" Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802 or send E-mail to charley@nomayo.com or 71224.113@compuserve.com.



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